Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Am I with a right partner?

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?" The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author. Here's the answer. Every relationship has a cycle...In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything.


That's why it's called "falling" in love. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?"

And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown. The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. 


And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are predictable.
 
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you refuse to let GO!!

Source: Mail. Thanks Preeti for sharing this. And Happy Bday to you. :)

Sunday, October 24, 2010

The Letter - Part II

Letter - Part I

I sat down on the bed with the letter in my hand. It was completely unexpected... I had always loved movies with a twist, those mystery,thriller movies which keep you guessing whats coming up next.The irony is that we enjoy those moments ,as long it happens to someone else,when we too are in the same boat, its to thrilling to enjoy the thrill. I never imagined in my wildest dream that my life will be taking a twist like this. And to top the icing on the cake, this day has to be on my birthday.

It was now 9:45. Then my eyes fell on the mobile which lay off. I recalled that i was going to charge it yesterday when i got the damn letter. I switched it on and put it on charge. After the start up tune,the phone came to life. There were a series of beeps, signalling the receiving of messages. Messages from my friends and well wishers who will be wishing me happiness,joy and a long life... Long life !! 20 seems to be a long life indeed...

I kept the phone in my bed and went near the window. A cool breeze of air was blowing. It was so soothing ,so serene so as to engulf me in its arms. Only that i didnt feel like enjoying any of these. I felt i would have been happier if i would have cried. Strangely enough i wasnt crying. Maybe,i have been always taught that no matter what happens in your life, no matter how many stones you get, no matter how bad the life treats you,your life is in your hands. There is always something positive , you only have to keep your eyes open.

Since, i had seen Dasvidaniya, a Bollywood movie, in which the movie's protagonist gets to know that he will be dying in 3 months. He makes a list of 10 things which he has always dreamt of doing. Basically, he fulfills his wish list and dies peacefully. Well, in my case i didnt have that option too. It was more a fast track Dasvidaniya in my case. Not 3 months but 24 hours....

People say its wiser not to reinvent the wheel. i thought of doing what our Dasvidaniya hero had done. Making a list of things which i want to do most. Since, i was the youngest child of my parent's 3 children, i was confident that they will be taken care by my elder brothers. Then, i wanted to pursue higher studies, for which the time i had was not sufficient, so that goes off from the list. Then... The challenge here was that i had everything i wanted.

My parents had ensured that i was well taken care in that regard. So what else... I was musing on that, when my Phone went off... "Tujh me rab Dikta hai,...." - the melody song from "Rab ne Bana di Jodi" movie. It had to be her. I had kept that ring tone for her calls. The irony here was the fact that "Rab" had given me a visit few hours back, so the word "Rab itself (meaning God)" brought jitters to me.

Anyhow, i picked up the phone and came the fresh voice of her - "Happy Birthday Arvind. God Bless You." I was tempted to answer "Well he has", but then thought the better of it and mumbled a thanks.

She asked me - "Where were you yesterday night. I kept on calling your mobile but it kept saying the receiver phone is switched off. What happened ?

I explained that my cell phone charge had died down and the current had gone out. I put the phone on charge now only."

Oh, ok fine. So whats the plan for today...

I thought " Well, pack up my bags for the trip". But said - I dont know. Have to be at home, i suppose. Ma has some plans.

Oh, ok. I wanted to meet you for sometime. Tell me if you can meet me today. [We had an understanding about my birthday.I had told her before that on my birthday we usually go to visit my grand parents, then temple, then orphanage.She respected my plans and didnt push me much on it]

But the last thing i wanted to do was to meet her. I knew that i wont be my normal self if i meet her today. So i wanted to avoid meeting her at all cost.. I said - Hey, Ma calling me. Will call you shortly.

OK, Wish you a Blessed Day.Sweet Kisses,saying so, she kept down the phone.

I clutched the phone close to my heart. A tear ran down my face. I knew that the only thing i wanted to do was to meet her. And bless her for a fruitful and a happy life. If i could have any wish fulfilled today, i would wish for a happy life for her. If not with me, then with someone who would love her with all his heart and give the world to her. I called her again.

Hey, whats up, she asked.

I said - How about meeting at the coffee shop, at 4pm ?

Wow, Thats so nice of you. See you soon.

I got up from the bed and starting getting refreshed. Then i put my favourite dress and went down. Papa had left early regarding his business. Mama was reading a book. As soon as i came down, she got up and planted a huge kiss on my cheek. God Bless you , my sweety. Papa said sorry about not being able to be at home today.He has some important meeting with his clients today. He told me to wish you on his behalf..

Thanks Mom i said bringing up a smile.

Come on, have your breakfast now. I have made your fav dish today .

I had few morsels and got ready to go to grandparents place.My grand parents were also ready in the home by the time we reached there. I took their blessings and grandpa/ma gifted me a gold chain, Grandma said it will make me more handsome. Grandma was always like this. Nowadays she has taken to giving lectures on finding a suitable girl for me. It will be sometime before it actually happens,but i suspect that she was the real reason for making love blossom in my heart. Due to her persistence talking,i had began to get thoughts that maybe its not bad to have a girl friend. Thats when i met my dream girl and whatever happened next is all known. It was 3 pm now. We started to the temple to offer prayers to our family god. Ma and grandparents prayed for a long life for me. I could only laugh at the irony of it. Then i bid my grandparents and Mom adieu and told them to proceed to the orphanage as i had some other work to do.

It was close to 4pm when i reached the coffee shop. She was already waiting for me there. Very much like her. Always on time, sometimes before time too. She gave me a hug and a short kiss and wished me happy birthday. We took our usual place in the coffee shop, the corner one with a small pool nearby it.

Do you remember our first date, in this coffee shop, i asked her.

Yes, how can i forget. You were blushing redder than a carrot.-She said.

I wasnt blushing. - i said back.

No. You were.. , she said.

We spend some time remembering the times, reliving the memories of our being together. Then she gave me a present. It was a triangular glass crystal with a red heart glowing inside.

I looked in to her eyes and gave her a smile. We just kept looking at each other.I had read somewhere that the closer people feel to each other,the lesser they need to talk. Emotions have a way of expressing and i think we understood each other perfectly well. I think she must have guessed that something was bothering me.

Whats the matter,Arvind - she asked.

Nothing dear, i replied. Trying hard not to lose control.

No, something is there. You can tell me - she said.

Do you love me - i asked.

I love you more than i love myself - she replied.

Iam very lucky in that regard. But i want you to promise me something. - i said.

What do you want me to do - she asked.

Promise me that you will love yourself more than me. Promise me that you will be happy no matter what happens.Promise me that you will carry on in your life and take care of yourself. I felt like a fool telling the above things. Yet, the only reaction i got from her was a strange stare. Not the stare again. She gives these kind of stares when its like she knows what Iam up too. Well, iam sure she wouldnt have known this, know about what had happened to me 24 hrs back.

She slowly replied -

Arvind, i dont know what to say. I never imagined that i will meet a person like you, and i consider myself lucky for that. Yet i want you to promise me the same things which you have asked me. Can you promise me that ?

I was tempted to tell her about what had happened 24 hrs back, that by tomorrow i wont be in this green earth. but i didnt want to scare her off. The last thing which i wanted to see on my last day was see her crying. I just smiled and shook my head. I found it hard to see that she was saying my dialogues. 'That she wanted the best for me'. Something was bothering her, but since i wasnt a good mind reader as her,i was left guessing about her botherations.

It was close to 7pm.The waiter came,kept the bill and went back. Its my treat for you, saying so she paid the money.

Well, time to say good bye - i said.

Seems so. Wish you a long and a Happy life. Saying so, she left.

Iam not sure if i saw it, but i think i saw a tear in one of her eyes. Someone had said that If there is one thing which is unpredictable in this world, you can be damn sure it will be the girls. I pushed my chair and was about to get up,when i saw she had left her handkerchief in the table. I reached across to take the kerchief. Something white in color fell down. It was a letter. It opened it and it read:

Dear Asha,

This is to inform you that your life validity expires in 24 hours.....
......

Epilogue: Thats the way she was. Not only she didnt show her sorrow to me, but to keep me happy on my birthday she acted as if nothing had happened. No wonder my instincts had always told me "She was the one for me".

The End.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Letter

The man stood near the window with his hands folded..He had a calm demeanor and was smiling benignly. I couldn’t really understand how could he be smiling on this occasion.

A few moments earlier....

The charge in my mobile had dried up. I was just going to put my phone on charge when the electricity got cut. If there is one thing in India which you can say with certainty, it is the fact that when you have an important work to do, you can trust the government to cut it off... Cursing them for the nuisance, i lay on the bed and spend the rest 15 minutes to curse those guys with well learnt curse words.

I presume i was about to doze off when i felt a hand tapping my shoulder. I woke up to see a man with a letter bag at his side. He introduced himself as "God" and took a letter from the letter bag and gave it to me. He then went on to say 'You have 24 hours to live and that we will be departing to heaven/hell tomorrow'.

All i did was to keep staring at him. He told me to have a look at the letter and went and stood near the window. I opened the letter and read:

Dear Arvind,

This is to inform you that your life validity expires in 24 hours. One of our people will come down to meet you and you will be sailing in the "Ship of Departures" along with other inmates. Kindly plan your schedule so that you finish off whatever you want within this validity time. No luggage’s will be necessary as everything will be available in the ‘Home’.

Your final destination aka Heaven/Hell will be decided based on your liabilities and assets which you have accrued over your life time.

Hope to see you tomorrow.

Regards,
God.

All i could say was "Is this some kind of joke"... All he did in return was to keep staring at me. I repeated my question again. he asked me "What do you think". I told him "I don’t think people receive termination letters informing about the remaining life time. And what is this, Liabilities, assets. I never knew that material assets and liabilities are valued in after-life. 

"Very typical of humans", remarked the God. You haven’t heard about the termination letters before because you get it only once. You don’t live to tell about it. And the assets and liabilities which i mentioned are the good deeds and the bad karma which you earn in your life time." This came as a complete shock to me... I never knew that the final day can come just like that. I had lived 24 years of my life time and had never bothered to think about the so called good deeds and bad deeds. I had hardly known any hardships, since i was provided with all luxuries. 

A lot many questions were running in my mind. [As in why he had come delivering this information when he can send across someone else, What had i done to get this call so early, Wasn’t he supposed to be wearing a white suit, as Morgan Freeman does in Hollywood movies]. I assumed i could guess the reason for his coming alone to deliver the information. After all, it was recession time now, so there could have been job cuts there also. Currently i was concerned about my situation, so i was wondering what to ask him, when suddenly there was a pop sound and Gosh, the man simply disappeared before my eyes... 

The feeling you get when someone next to you pops off in thin air makes you feel that even you can pop off anytime. You fear to tread another step not knowing when you will pop off. No wonder, the people in the medieval ages used to haunt the witches and considered them as outlaws. And the feeling when someone has informed you about your demise and has suddenly left you alone gives you no little consolation. Well, i never had hoped for this in my wildest dream. 

I kept the letter in the diary on the bed-side table and then kept staring at the ceiling. Why me. It’s not fair in any way. and Why now ?? Why now when i had found my dream girl. It’s been 3 months since we met. It was an instant liking from our first meet and i knew that if there has to be a girl in my life, it has to be her. She had all the good qualities which a Man could aspire for in a girl. I had proposed to her 1 month back and she had accepted it. We had planned up so many things for our future...The big bungalow, the children we would have, the fun trip….So many in the to-do list. But, it seems life had other plans. No wonder, people say Life is unfair. This is not fair, this is not fair.... I kept on muttering the sentences....

"Sleeping till 9am on your birthday and saying 'it’s not fair' isn’t fair too" - came the voice of my Mother. She tugged the bed sheet and woke me up with a birthday wish and a sweet kiss. I looked at her as if i was stunned. Birthday, oh, yes it’s my birthday today. I made up a smiley face and mumbled a thanks... Get ready soon, son. It’s your DAY today. Don’t you have plans for today.. Come-on get ready, son...God Bless you, saying so she left the room. 

I sat on the bed and tried remembering what had happened.. What about the letter, the God visit and the message... Was it a bad dream after all. I couldn’t express the happiness i felt at that moment. A dream, a bad dream, Gosh, it had felt so real... Thank goodness. Pushing the bad thoughts away from the mind, i threw the bed sheet away and got down on the other side. Then i saw it. A small white envelope was pointing out slightly in my personal diary!!! The whole room seemed to freeze. 

Slowly, with shivering hands i reached across to the dairy and took out the letter and opened it. 

It started "Dear Arvind,

..............

To be contd....

P.S: I had written this before. Posting it again for the benefit of the current readers. Hope you liked it.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

The First Love – Part V

The First Love - Part I
The First Love - Part II
The First Love - Part III
The First Love - Part IV

When the school started off again, those were the best times of my life. The next few months just flew off. We started spending more time together. We were together in the class, during the break times & when the class was on, we would still be speaking to each other in a coded language. After class, we took a walk in the ground, before our evening tuition sessions started. Even though she had said that she preferred being friends, i could see that this was turning out to be something else. People say that things work out if one is persistent enough. And I was a personification of persistence. I would make use of every opportunity to proclaim my love for her. Whenever I used to do that, she would be indifferent most of the time. You know the kind of reaction which the deaf people give, as if they hadn’t heard anything. And sometimes she just laughed it off. The one thing unforgettable was when she got jealous of the whole thing. Well, to be honest we had a big laugh at it at a later period. It happened this way.

Once during our tri-bed conference, I was ranting off the fact that Keerthana wasn’t accepting my proposal. We have been talking but she really didn’t give any reaction as if she liked me or loved me. Gopal suggested that I should try out few flattering techniques, showcasing my love for her. Prabu pitched in saying why not write a love letter for her, this time describing her beauty and comparing her with the Nature and remarking how beautiful she was even when compared to the Sun, moon etc etc. Generally, Girls love when someone gives them a compliment, but they get floored when they are told that they are the best compared to everything that’s in the world. I guess, telling a lie to make someone happy isn’t that bad ! Prabu’s idea was a masterpiece, except for a minor mistake. Gopal too joined me in writing it. Don’t get me wrong, he wanted to write a love letter to Geetha, so in order to lessen the efforts, both of us decided to write the letter together. Actually, I protested to this idea, but Gopal quoted the physics concepts of saving energy and increasing efficiency, blah blah.

So that was it. We sat together and composed the love letter as if two master craftsmen were preparing their greatest art. In the end, we took the main draft of the letter, and prepared two more copies of it. On one copy I wrote Keerthana’s name & on the other, Gopal wrote Geetha’s name. We then put the envelopes in respective covers. The next day after the class got over, I and Keerthana were taking a walk in the ground. She had gone to drink water, when I slipped the letter into her bag. I had to meet our class teacher so I went off after telling her. I was thinking that she will get a pleasant surprise when she finds the letter. Little did I know what happened. I was much fortunate than Gopal, who had to bear Geetha’s wrath in real time!! They were in the canteen & she had went off to drink some water. Meanwhile, Gopal inserted the letter into her bag. Then he went off to the nearby shop saying he will get some chips. When he came back, Geetha exploded and gave him some tight slaps. He didn’t understand what was happening. Few minutes back they were talking sweet things, but now it was a tense situation. What had really happened was that our letters had got interchanged. The letter content went off something like: I love you more than I love anything else, You look more beautiful than your friend (yes, we should have mentioned the friend name, which we didn’t). Even if I get a chance to be with her, I will not trade places etc etc. This idea (ridiculous idea) was suggested by Gopal, saying that this will showcase how truthful we were to our lovers. The problem was, my letter to Keerthana started off like “Dear Geetha” and Gopal’s letter to Geetha started off like “Dear Keerthana”. So Geetha ended up thinking that Gopal had discreetly wanted to give the letter to Keerthana, which she had found out.

In my case, Keerthana reaction was a bit different from expected. Till now, I had only heard about the power of non-violence but hadn’t had any opportunity to experience it. Now I got to experience it in real time. Poor British people, they wouldn’t have thought of the power of non-violence before their mighty weapons. In the end, the non-violent stance of the Indians had completely disarmed them. In Keerthana’s case, it was a slight modification of non-violence concept. She had hated violence and hence, she adopted the non-violent mode: Crying. As soon as I met her during dinner, I asked her “So, how is Geetha”. I don’t know why I asked about Geetha, but it was just a casual question, considering Geetha hadnt come to have dinner along with keerthana. She broke into tears. It took some time to understand what had happened, and clear her doubts away. But one good thing had materialized. The incident went onto show how possessive she was about me and how she didn’t like the idea of me with someone else.

Our final exams were coming up in sometime. Prior to that, we had a two week vacation or study holidays, as they called it. Her parents had called her back during that time. I couldn’t imagine why her parents had called her at this period, and I missed her deeply. We had got used to be with each other that it was feeling weird to be without her. I told Gopal, Prabu that Iam going to see her again. They thought it was a crazy idea going out during the exams time. Still, I had made up mind. I left the next day and went to my friend’s place. I went and waited near the road junction. She was returning back from shopping and as soon as she saw me – she started crying. I mean, I expected her to be surprised and give a surprised look, yet wondered if crying was supposed to be the extreme reaction, when someone gets surprised. Then she told me what had happened. Her parents had called her back because they were planning to get her married once she finishes school. She had got a good proposal and her parents had wanted her back home for that reason. I couldn’t say anything. She just continued crying. I wiped off her tears and hugged her. I held her face close and said – No one can make you do anything, if u don’t want to do it. Just tell your parents that you don’t want to get married so soon and that you want to study more. They will yield to your persistence.” Our faces were so close that I could see her iris in a magnified way. And when she was crying, she looked more beautiful with the tears decorating her further. We don’t know what happened, but the next moment our lips had met and we started kissing each other. It was sometime before we realized what we were doing, and since we were standing in the road, we restrained ourselves.
The next thing we see is her mom standing few feets away from us. What we didn’t realize that while we were kissing, her mom had been nearby. She had come in search of Keerthana, and had found us doing it. Her face was a mix of evil glare & angel weeping. Believe me, you wouldn’t want to look at that kind of stare. Keerthana broke away from me and went to her mom, who dragged her back. I came for the next 2 days but couldn’t get to meet her. My friend advised me to go back to school and study for exams. She came for the exams but didn’t even speak with me. The whole week was excruciatingly slow. Because of the rigorous exams, I couldn’t even catch up with her. After t exams got over, her parents came to the school and packed her things. Gopal told me that she was leaving her room. I hurriedly ran towards the main gate. When I reached the main gate, she was sitting in the car. I cried out ‘Keerthana, I want to speak to you’. Her father, a tall man with broad shoulders, (in short, a giant) came towards me and said – Next time, I see you disturbing my daughter, you will really feel sorry for doing so. Go and mind your own business’ Then they just left off, and I could just watch as the car speeded away to distance and become a speck in the long road that lead away from the school.



Ding dong. Ding dong. The door bell rang…

‘Madhu, go and see who is at the door’, I said.

“No daddy, please tell what happened next’, murmured Sankar.

‘That’s for later, go and see who is at the door. Sankar you go and ask your mom to bring something to eat for the guest.’

I had completely forgot. We had invited Gopal’s family to come over to my place and we had planned to go out for a dinner. The time had passed away so soon that I didn’t realize that it was 6’0 clock.

Gopal and his wife came inside and sat in the sofa. ‘How is life, Vikram’,he asked. ‘Geetha aunty, Dad was telling us your school days story”, said Madhu.

“My goodness, how long many times do you tell it to your kids”, exclaimed Gopal.

“What can I do. They never seem to get bored of it.” I said

“Papa left the story in the middle, how Mom had left with her parents on the last day of the
school”, said Sankar in a sad tone.

Just then Keerthana came out of the kitchen carrying a tray. “Hi Geetha, Gopal how are you”, she asked.

Keerthana, she was just the same as the first time I saw her. Her beauty, her smile, were the same as yester years. As the saying goes, if you truly love something, you set it free; if it comes backs it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was. My love was true.

“Dad, tell na what happened then”, Sankar murmured again.

“Sankar, You have heard it many times. Now go and get ready for going outside. The story of how I met your Father again is a long story. We will hear it some other time”, saying so Keerthana came and sat beside me.

If there is one thing which a man can ask for, it is to live along with the girl of your dreams. And I was blessed indeed. As someone said “If you truly love someone with all your heart, the whole world conspires to help you achieve your dream”

***************************** THE END***********************************

P.S: I would like to extend my thanks to my friends Preeti, Madhavi & Uday sankar for their threat that if the story had a bad ending that would be my last day in earth. Hope you liked the ending. Thanks to all who liked the story and followed it up from the start and gave genuine feedback.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

The First Love - Part IV

I was filled with complete enthusiasm throughout the day. People say that when you fall in love, you can sense the other person everywhere. It was the same with me. I could sense her everywhere. It went onto an extent in which even Prabu’s verbose conversation seemed ‘sweeter’, it appeared as if she was speaking. When somebody laughed nearby, it seemed as if she had laughed. We had a reading session on Physics. I had no idea of what was being discussed. Though I continued doing whatever was said by the teacher, my mind was doing its own somersaults. For the first time, the special session looked fun. Since, her smile in the class had dispelled the notion that she bore any animosity towards me, I was looking forward to see her the next day. We had a triangle bed meeting in my room (Gopal, Prabu and my bed arranged in a triangular design, similar to a round table conference). Gopal was certain, I was ready to upgrade to the next level and that I must propose to her. Prabu was skeptical and was of the view that I must understand her better, before taking the next step. He said ‘I read somewhere that as far as women are concerned, the unexpected always happen’. Even the wise poet Kabir Das had written that one can measure the depth of a sea, one can measure the altitude of the skies, but one can’t measure a women thoughts’. He seemed to have a good point, So the meeting was adjourned, with the upgrade plan put on hold until any further developments.

The next day, I went to the class early on and occupied Gopal’s position. Usually he sits on one end of the bench and Keerthana’s friend Geeta would sit in the bench beside it. When Geeta came in, she saw me sitting on Gopal’s place and understood what I wanted and sat at Keerthana’s place. Keerthana came in after sometime and sat at the end of the bench besides me. During the class, my pen ink dried up. I was wondering what to do and asked Gopal for a replacement. Gopal was still furious at me for taking his place, and didn’t bother to answer me. I was wondering if I should ask someone in the back or front bench when a pen appeared before my eyes. I looked sideways and saw that Keerthana was holding a pen in her hand. ‘You can use this, if you want’ she said. My heart took a plunge yet my hands thankfully did its normal function of taking the pen from her. I smiled back and said thanks. Accepting her pen seemed to be a wrong choice. I spent the remaining time of the period, in admiring the design of the pen and its beauty. Gopal looked sideways to see what I was looking at and saw me transfixed looking at the pen. ‘Vikram, isn’t that the pen which I gave you last month, and which you had misplaced’, he asked. Coming out of my imagery,I snapped at him ‘ don’t disturb me now’. Iam busy.’ Once the class got over, I gave her the pen back, she said ‘It’s fine. You can use it for the day and return tomorrow’. I was happy to oblige. I guarded the pen like a treasure. I kept the pen in the centre of the table and all the 3 of us were looking, I was looking at the pen and the other two were looking at me.

Few weeks went by. We used to talk a little bit during the lunch time or during the breaks. I found it hard to interact with her normally, as when I was with her, my pulses would race up. I couldn’t act as if I was her friend, while I had different feelings for her in my heart. Back in the room, the triangular meeting was called for in lieu of the new development. Gopal, once again as impulsive as ever, suggested the proposal mode. ‘See, she even gave you the pen on her own. How long would you keep your emotions bottled up. Go ahead and tell her what you feel about her’. I just nodded my head and mumbled ‘Yes, I think she likes me too’.
‘I still feel you should wait to get to know her better before you propose her’ Prabu said.
‘Should I wait to know her better till our school ends ??’. What will happen if she changes her mind by then’, Gopal asked. So it was decided that I would go ahead with the plan. The three of us got down into the strategic planning mode. Prabu suggested the best time to approach her would be after the Hindi special class.

‘Yes, yes. that’s a nice idea’, said Gopal.

‘Yes, Just in case things didn’t turn out as hoped for, and if she reacts violently and slaps you, it’s better to face it alone when no one’s there.’, said Prabu.

‘Thanks Chanakya, for your insightful advice. We will follow as you say sa’, I said. Now for a strategic support, Gopal was instructed to brief Geeta about her assistance to make Keerthana stay in the class after it gets over, so that I and she can remain in the class and at that appropriate moment, I will approach her.

The next day, i was eagerly waiting for the hindi classes. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice her coming to the class and maybe for the first time, didn’t even give her much glance throughout the day. During the break, we updated Geeta about the plan. She seemed understandable and agreed to help. Later once the Hindi class got over, Geeta acted as if she had some doubts in the subject, and stayed back. Once everyone in the class had left, i slowly packed up my things. Geeta went outside first, leaving Keerthana and me in the class. She gave me a smile and took her bag and was about to leave the class.

‘Keerthana, I want to talk with you regarding something.’ I said

‘Yes. What is it, Vikram’, she replied.

‘I don’t know how to say it. I don’t know to speak in riddles. The first time, I saw you, I fell in love with you’. Probably I don’t know you well enough, but I know that as long as you are with me, I can think of nothing else but only you.’

As Prabu had said, ‘as far as women are concerned, the unexpected always happen’. Whatever the reaction I had expected, her reaction was unexpected. She didn’t give any reaction at all. She just walked away silently. No dialogues which the heroine utters in the movies. I just stood there puzzled, unable to understand what it meant. We didn’t speak for the next three days. Even while passing each other, she would look somewhere else or pretend that iam not there. What else I could do when she pretends that I don’t exist itself. We just went on with the daily schedule.

On the 5th day, after the class while I was about to get down the staircase, I heard a voice behind ‘ Vikram’. I looked back and saw Keerthana standing there along with Geetha. She said ‘Vikram, I do like you, but as my friend and nothing more. You don’t even know me completely. Hence, please don’t waste your time coming after me’. I was completely speechless. I didn’t expect her to come up with such a reply. Anyhow, her proposal would enable me to be with her and keep my chances open’.

I said: ‘Well, since you have accepted that you do like me, it wont be long before you realize my true love for you’. And yea, it’s just a matter of time, before that happens.’. She just looked at me and went away. That night the triangle bed conference was again called for. Prabu was at the center standing in a pose of a military brigadier; about to give marching orders to his troops. Gopal was lost in a deep contemplation. ‘Girls like guys who make them feel special’. So you have to find a way to make her feel special.

‘I already feel she is special. How do I make her feel it.’

‘I don’t know. Ask the experienced guy for an idea’, remarked Prabu. We both looked at Gopal. He had a smirk on his face. Of all things, in such a serious discussion, this expression didn’t help out much.

‘What is there to smirk about’, I asked.

No reply. We realized that he had dozed off while in deep contemplation. Prabu hit him with a pillow. ‘Yes, yes. that’s a nice idea’, Gopal babbled. He claims that he has the ability to hear even while sleeping. We understood how clearly he had heard our conversation.

‘Why were you smirking’, I asked.

“I had a dream in which I was wishing Geetha on her birthday and both of us went out on a date’.

People say that sometimes a bolt of lightning hits you from nowhere. I got a new idea now. I recalled Geetha saying that Keerthana’s birthday was during the half yearly holidays and she would be going home. ‘Thanks Gopal, for a wonderful idea’, I said.

‘What was the idea’, he asked.

Well, i have decided that I will give Keerthana a surprise visit during the holidays and personally wish her on her birthday. That’s sure to make her understand how much I love her. Lets see how she reacts when I reach at her place directly and wish her. The idea of visiting her in person was strengthened by few movies in which the actor visits the girl at her place, and sweeps her off her feet by his proposal.

‘What if she has body guards around her and they break your legs’, asked Gopal.

‘That was very helpful, Gopal. Well, that remains to be seen who would be swept off, and if I will have my legs to atleast run away.”

I was hopeful that her parents wouldn’t have taken the pains to have bodyguards around her. After calculating the cost of hiring body guards, I decided that they wouldn’t go to that extent and hence decided to take the risk. After all, what is life without experimentation.

‘That seems to be a good idea’. But do you know where she lives’, asked Prabu.
‘We have to get it from the registration records’, I said

‘Are you crazy. There is no way you can get your hands on it. The records are kept locked in a room nearby the chemistry lab’, Gopal said.

‘Well, we will find a way to infiltrate it. Guys, think how exciting will it be to do something like this. We should have something to make our exams time more exciting.’
Prabu was skeptical but agreed to help out. Gopal said there is no way we can do this. ‘What if we got caught. Already iam getting battered in exams, I don’t want an extra reason now.”

‘Come on Gopal. Don’t worry about that. You needn’t come in. You can just act as a watch guard. If you help me out, I will sponsor samosa in our canteen for a week’

‘Ok, then. I will just be a watch guard. So when are we going to the canteen’, he said. It’s remarkable how samosa can help convince people.

Then all the three of us sat and planned the Mission ‘Dhoom’. Gopal was of the view that having a movie name in which the actor infiltrates the place and completes his mission successfully would be a good sign for us. The registration records are kept in a room nearby the chemistry lab. Being a class monitor, the hindi teacher had taken me once to keep few records. Our plan was that once the half yearly exams starts, the people movement would lessen. We will make Gopal stand outside the chemistry lab as a watch guard. There is a small broken window to the back of that room. One can enter it through a lavatory, which is at the end of the corridor. From there, one can get over to a parapet, and then enter the room through the broken window. I and Prabu would enter the room and get the record. We had 3 days holiday before our first exam. We decided that Saturday would be the right time to infiltrate it. The next few days went by, with the three of us figuring out all the probable dangers/obstacles which we might face and how we could avoid/overcome it. A long inventory list was prepared for the items to taken for the break in.

On Saturday, after having lunch, the three of us took our exam books and arrived at the place. We told Gopal to be ready and in case of any person entering the room, to warn us off so that we can escape through the window. I and Prabu went over to the parapet to enter the room. The room was quite dark. We couldn’t put on the room lights as people might find out our presence. We put on our search lights and started our search. I took up one end of the room, and Prabu the other end. The records were stacked high in a corner and it took us 30 mins just to figure out the location of our batch records. We found out our class records and started looking for keerthana’s record. Suddenly we heard sound of footsteps outside. We listened with bated breath. Then we heard Gopal’s voice ‘ Good afternoon Sir’. ‘Good afternoon, Gopal’ What are you doing here.’. It was our Chemistry Sir. ‘Sir, Iam studying for Chemistry exam, seeing the chemicals in the lab will help me correlate the formula’s better’, remarked Gopal. That indeed was a stroke of genius. Even Einstein, Newton wouldn’t have thought of studying like that.
‘Don’t waste time moving around the campus. Go and study in your room. You can score good marks by studying in your room too.’ The prof said in an irritated manner, opened the lab, went in and got something he wanted and went back. Gopal couldn’t understand why the prof got irritated. After coming back to the room, we found out the reason. Gopal in his hurry had taken the physics book in his hand. And physics exam was our last exam. The prof realized that arguing with Gopal would only waste his time, so he just went on with his work. Thankfully, this act made him leave the location quickly. Meanwhile, we found her record, and hurriedly noted down her address. We kept the records back in place, so to avoid any signs of intrusion, and returned the same way. Back in the room, we celebrated the success of Mission ‘Dhoom’ by ordering soft drinks from the canteen, while Gopal devoured his samosa’s.

The exams started and all of us got busy in the daily routine of waking up, writing exams, revising for the next exam. I didn’t get to see her much during that time except in the exam hall but we didn’t talk much. On the last day, after the exam got over, I came outside and waited for her. She was with Geetha and few more girls and they just walked by. I had asked Geetha to bring Keerthana to the water cooler. I went down and Geetha was standing there with keerthana.

‘How were the exams’, I asked her

‘They were fine. How was yours’, she asked me.

‘Finally over. That’s a relief, I replied. ‘So when are you going home’, I asked.

‘How do you know, iam going home’, she asked

‘it’s common sense, I wanted to say. Where else would people go during holidays, and especially girls who given a two days time would go back to their home, but thought the better of it and said ‘I heard it from my friends’.

‘Oh fine. Tonight, she said. I gotta go now’

‘See ya soon’, I said.

Well, there was the surprise element. I went back to my room. Her birthday was after 2 days, so i would be leaving tomorrow night and reach her city the next day morning. The plan seemed fine, and after packing up things for the travel, I slept off.

Gopal and Prabu had left for their home by the time I woke up the next day. I left the hostel and caught a bus to the main bus stand. From there, took another bus which would take me to her place. The bus reached the destination by 5am and I directly went to a temple which was near her home. Geetha had said that she visits a temple in the morning which is near her home. It was outside this temple where I was waiting. I hadn’t told Prabu or Gopal about waiting in the temple. They were thinking that I was going to her home and wish her. Confronting her parents at her home, would mean a huge risk, even if the body guards weren’t taken into count. Gopal,Prabu wouldn’t have approved me of waiting in the temple with no certainty of meeting her. yet, I had decided not to tell them and take my chances.

On the way, I had bought a kitten candle, because she liked cats, and a small rose flower. I had been waiting for almost 3 hours. It was 9am now. I almost lost hope of seeing her, and decided to return when I saw her entering the temple. Since it was close to her home, she had come alone. She was stunningly beautiful in a orange and a black chudidar with her hair let loose. I was wondering how would I look in comparison as I was in a completely distorted state. Yet I waited for her to come out. As long as she recognizes me and doesn’t end up shouting, thinking that iam a road side pokiri. After half an hour, she came outside and walked towards the side I was standing. There was a small lane to the left, I went inside it. When she was about to cross it, I called out ‘Keerthana’. She looked around and saw me. She was surprised. Well, surprised wouldn’t be good enough to express her expression. I walked to where she was standing. She said ‘You, Vikram’. ‘Here’

She was speechless. That was an expected reaction. Then she took my hand and took me to back to the lane. It was deserted there. She started ‘you are behaving childishly, why did you come here. Etc etc. All this was expected too. Prabu had told the probable reactions which a girl might express at such a time. Out of the 5 things he mentioned, 2 had already happened. The other 3 that remained on my list was ‘Shouting for help and calling people’, ‘Giving a slap’ or ‘Giving a kiss’. With 2 reactions over, I was wondering which order would her expression take. I was doubtful if she would kiss me after slapping me. Anyway, her rhetoric went on. I just stood there completely lost and was admiring her beauty. She finally ended by saying,

‘You are crazy enough. Why did you come here’.

I offered her the kitten candle and said ‘Happy birthday’, I said. And in a romantic fashion, I bent down at my knees and gave the rose flower to her and said ‘You might think that iam just infactuated by you, but to show how truly I love you, i have come to express my feelings. The first moment,I saw you, I fell in love with you and I have always wanted to be with you. No matter, what you think, I will always love you. Keerthana, I love you.” Her next expression was unexpected. She took out a flower from her puja basket which she had in her hand, and kissed it and gave it to me. That was supposed to be a kiss transfer through a flower. She said: ‘We will be friends and see how this turns out. Iam glad that you came here to wish me. I have to go now. See you soon. Bye’. I stood like a dumb there. I didn’t know how to react. It did seem that she had accepted my proposal, Well, Prabu was right. ‘As far as women are concerned, the unexpected always happens’…

To be contd...

Monday, August 30, 2010

The First Love – Part III

The exams time were like a whirlpool. If somebody had to find out about a robot’s life, they could have observed us. We get up in the morning 6am, followed by a revision (or, last minute book glancing/ mugging, whatever you call it),then rush for breakfast followed by exam at 9am. After the 3 hour exam, the revision for the next day’s exam begin. The school conducted a mock exam for practice(which ended up mocking at us), so every day, we used to write 2 exams, one in the morning & one in the evening. You can imagine our state by then. So when the exams got over, it was like breathing fresh oxygen once again. We had a 5 day break, Being such a short time, I nor my roommates couldn’t go to our home. The warden announced that the routine academic schedule will happen every day during the holidays too. The only consolation was that evening classes were canceled. As usual, the three of us, actively utilized the time in brainstorming and coming up with ideas for helping me approach Keerthana .

Prabu, who generally stays silent, comes up with mind blowing idea, at the least unexpected time. One of his idea was that girls like guys who have good physique. He said ‘Vikram, first impression make the best impression’. I asked him, but don’t you think Keerthana & I have already met and it wont be the first time we will be seeing each other. Prabu replied ‘That was before the holiday. Now when you meet her again, you can make a good impression on her for the first time.’ Not that the idea was bad, but to mould myself into a fit structure in 5 days, was what concerned me. Gopal, seemed more interested in the idea. ‘Is it really true, Prabu’. Does it really work’. Prabu said he had seen his friend brother get abs after visiting gym for a month.’ ‘But cant I do it in a week’, Gopal asked eagerly. Prabu replied: ‘Well there is a technique I have heard that could work, but iam not sure about it’.



Gopal was all ears for it. Prabu went on, ‘There is a 5 day diet program which will help you reduce weight (10-15 kgs in 5 days). On the first day, you eat fresh vegetables (except potato). The second day - fresh fruits, the third a mix of fruits & vegetables, the fourth - a boiled potato along with a handful of rice, the final day includes salads and a handful of rice. Gopal was eagerly interested in it. ‘Do you eat all those items along with your normal course or after your normal course’. Prabu muttered something. Gopal, the items I mentioned will be the normal course. Not in addition to the normal course. Gopal looked aghast. Doesn’t it damage your body? I mean your stomach, he asked. Prabu said ‘ it might work. So if you follow the diet course and work out slightly, you can have your dream physique.’ Gopal decided to give it a try. ‘So, Vikram, when do we start’, he asked putting a hand over my shoulder. I said, Iam content being myself but would be there to cheer him for the crash diet course. We went to the mess room and asked the cook to have the required vegetables ready in the morning. He was puzzled by our request, but just stared at us. The first day went by well, on the 3rd day, I couldn’t find Gopal in his bed. Prabu later informed that Gopal had fallen unconscious while going for a jog. His situation looked like as if he had been on a food strike for weeks. The school physician told Gopal to rest for 2 days properly and eat normal food. [It seemed he was equally interested in impressing Keerthana’s friend Geeta]

Once the school reopened, all the subject teachers started distributing the exam papers. I was more interested in getting to know her scores than mine. Being a decent student, I had scored above average in most of the papers except in Hindi where I was below the average. Keerthana too had scored well in all subjects except Hindi where she just passed. The school administration conducts a special course for students who secure border line scores.

Accordingly, being the class monitor, I had to prepare the list of students in all subjects where students have scored border line scores. After making the list, I told Gopal & Prabu that Keerthana is there in the special course. Prabu all of a sudden, shouted ‘I have a plan’. Based on our past observation, Prabu & his plan didn’t seem to get along. So with apprehension, we asked him to share his plan. He said, ‘Since Keerthana is in the Hindi special class, why don’t you join the class too. You will get a chance to spend some time with her & probably get to know her better’. Well, the plan might work. After promising to treat him to samosa in the school canteen, I made a plan to approach the Hindi teacher.
Next day, while submitting the list, I said to her, ‘Maam, I would like to join the Hindi special classes.’ She said ‘Vikram, was surprised to hear it as students generally give me reasons for not joining the class. You on the contrary want to join. So whats your reason ? I said, Maam, in the 20 marks multiple objective section, I had used random guessing in marking the answers, and got lucky. Hindi, being our national language, I want to understand and learn it completely. She got emotional and said ‘Vikram, I haven’t seen such an interested student in my lifetime. You will achieve a lot many things, if you have this attitude.’ Next day in the class, she appreciated me citing the reason and told everyone to work hard like me & take the special classes seriously. Later in the night, Gopal came to the room with a long sad face. I asked him what had happened. It seemed that Gopal got to know that Keerthana’s friend Geeta was also attending the special course, so he went to Maam and adopted the same ruse as mine. The teacher in turn blasted him and warned him to study properly or else she would take strict action against him. Gopal couldn’t understand what went wrong. After narrating what had happened, we found the reason. Gopal had missed the first part of my dialogues (of wanting to learn Hindi properly) and just cited my second dialogue part (of guessing the answers). That too, he had a big smile in his face while telling this. The teacher who at that moment had a heated argument with someone, felt that Gopal was proud of guessing rightly hence the happy smile. Hence, he received the treatment. Now, how can I make him understand that direct duplication doesn’t work, one needs to know the situation also. Somehow we consoled Gopal and we went to sleep.

Next day, the special classes started. I sat in the last bench as she usually sits in the second last row. I made Gopal sit in front of me and used him as a cover so that teacher couldn’t see me. I used to look at her, hoping that she will look back atleast once. While discussing the days happening, Gopal would say, that he saw Keerthana glancing at me twice. That was something news but I felt that Gopal was telling this to cheer me up. But I still hadn’t spoken with Keerthana much. Finally, one good opportunity arrived. The Hindi teacher conducted a surprise quiz on few verses she had taught last week and told us that whoever failed to write it will be penalized. She told us to choose a neighbor and correct paper by ourself and submit the paper after correcting. Keerthana generally sat with Geeta, but on that day, Geeta was absent, so she was sitting alone. I somehow gathered courage and went to her and asked if she can correct my paper. She hesitated initially, and then took my paper & gave hers to me. I then realized that Gopal was looking expectantly at me for the exchange. I mumbled a sorry and asked him to adjust this time. When I looked at her paper, I found that she hadn’t written anything in it. Later, I came to know that she hadn’t been feeling well, so she hadn’t read on the topic. While submitting, I wrote her name in my paper and mine in her paper.



The teacher after collecting the list of students who hadn’t written the verses, announced that these students will write the verses(around 20 of them) 500 times and submit it the next day. She then announced the names of the students. My name appeared at the end of the list. The teacher admonished me and said that Iam not working hard and that I hadn’t written anything in the paper. Keerthana was surprised to not hear her name in the list and since she had checked my paper she was more surprised to hear my name announced. She finally realized what I had done. The teacher called me to the center of the class and told that atleast others have tried to write something, but I have left the paper blank. The whole class was looking at me, while the teacher admonished but none of it mattered, because I was looking at Keerthana & for the first time, she smiled in a friendly way.

To be contd

Sunday, July 18, 2010

The First Love - Part I

“Don’t worry. We will come and see you every month. And don’t forget to apply oil in your hair daily and sleep early every day". My mom went on throwing spears of advice which broke down in front of my shield. I wouldn’t have really bothered about her sayings, if we had been at home. I know for sure that she would do the work for me, if I didn’t care about it. But here, in a hostel, it was an entirely different matter. It was all due to the neighbor living across the street. I had always felt that he had disliked me for some reasons and it was a matter of time before which my prophecy was proved right.

My parents had gone for their evening walk, when they ran into him. As it happens, the topic of discussion started from the incompletely dug and ill maintained roads, then about the state of affairs of the economy and then the employment scenarios. Heck, that did the trick. Two things that will grab the attention of any parent in India (other than politics & cine world) are job opportunities and marriage proposal for their children. My parents got riveted onto his speech on how bad the days were and unless one scores very good marks, one won’t get admission in a good college, and hence, no campus placements and no jobs. “Your child would have to roam around the city looking for jobs”, he said adding emphasis on the words ‘roam around’

The site of their only child roaming around the city would have seemed unbearable for my parents. “Is there no way out of this”, asked my Mom who would have hoped that some kind of yagna or puja would have warded off any evil incident which might happen in future. “Yes, if your son scores high in his boards, he wouldn’t have to face all that”. “Please tell us what to do in this case”, asked my mother. The neighbor who was lucky to have caught the attention of two innocuous people, went on. “No need to worry, sister. Even my brother’s son was like this. But we made him join a coaching institute specially meant for the Boards. Those people ensure that your kid scores well”.

That sealed the fate for me. My parents got the address of this coaching tutorial and I was plucked (withdrawn) from my current school, and joined in the new school. We met the warden, who turned out to be a skinny bald fellow. He looked quite malnourished himself.
My father told him “Please Sir, make my kid score well. I know he has enormous potential but he is very lazy. “Don’t you worry sir, we ensure that even a donkey turns into a horse. He looked at me with a scornful glance, and said “Mend your ways, boy. Your relaxing days are over” Leave your child in our care, we will do the best for him, he said to my parents.
After the meeting, here we were in my so called hostel room. My parents had to leave the place in 30 minutes.. Hence, after cleaning & setting the room for some more time, my parents started to leave. I wonder if there are any tear banks inside our eyes. As soon as they left the hostel, the tear banks opened up and gushes of tears started flowing down. Somehow, I felt strange and odd standing there alone. This was real. I won’t have my parents near me to pamper me, or give me pocket money. I would be spending the next 2 years in this dingy hostel room. This meant no filter coffee before sleeping every night. The truth hit me quite hard and it was mighty enough to open my tear banks for some more time.

There were 2 other beds put up in the room. The other 2 inmates weren’t in the room yet. I decided to go out and explore the surroundings. As I approached the hostel gates, I found another guy standing there bidding farewell to his parents. He was standing there, with his tears banks open and streaks of tears drops in his face. I tried to console him by saying that I understood how he felt missing his parents. He looked at me in a strange manner, and said “I wasn’t crying because my parents left. I was crying because I came to know that our day starts early by 4:30 am and goes on till 11:30 pm. Can you imagine that. Full day studies with no entertainment.” He then went away wiping his tears. My tear banks were in a ready state now. The news itself was quite heart breaking and miserable to open anybody’s tear bank. I guess , it would have been a rumour,I consoled myself.

I dragged myself back to hostel. When i reached it, I found a new inmate sitting there. I came to know that he was Gopal and that he had been living in the hostel since last year. His parents had joined him an year back immediately after his 10th boards. I thought maybe he too had a evil minded neighbor who hated him more than my neighbor hated me. Maybe life is impartial in some ways. “I guess you are a newbie to hostel life.” I nodded my head. Before Gopal went onto narrate his hostel chronicles, another skinny fellow entered the room surrounded by baggage. “Hi, Iam Prabu. I have to get the warden’s signature. Where can I find him”, he asked in a meek voice. “Go to the second floor, last room to the left”, said the all knowing Gopal. Prabu came back after 30 minutes. We exchanged our intro’s. Prabu was also a newbie to hostel life. Apparently his train had got delayed and he missed the hostel admission timings. His parents had left him and then the security guard had asked him to meet the warden immediately. After some chit chat, Gopal lead us to the student mess for the dinner. “We have to be back in our rooms by 8:30. This being the first day, the warden wants to meet all the newbies”.

It was around 10:30 that we came back to our rooms and lay in our bed. The food was ok kind, but what was unbearable was our daily schedule. It was like the other guy said, drill like – a hard routine. I wonder if the warden was training us for some secret Indian espionage agency. As my eyes started drooping, I had very little idea on how my life would change over the next 2 years. How a single person can enter your life and change it forever.

To be continued...

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Dad speaks, Simi listens and Life just goes on!

Most of us have numerous thoughts,views about Love marriage Vs the Arranged Marriage... This one , i had got as a mail forward... Dunno who had blogged this, but it is definitely worth reading.,.


"Karthik, dinner's ready." My mom called out while I was listening to My Sacrifice by Creed on Radio City. She came near and in a low voice said, "I told your dad about it." I felt like a 10,000 volt stupor hit me! "What?" I was flabbergasted, "Ma, I wanted to tell him myself. I had it all planned out. You've just...god! You women kind can never keep secrets, can you? Ok, what did he say?" I asked anxiously. "He said nothing. Probably he wouldn't even talk to you about it until you start." I knew it was going to be a bad night. Heated arguments, sentimental issues, guilt pricking and unwanted tensions; we had had none of these in our house. But I saw it all coming down in one night.


At the dinner table :
It took me sometime to come out of my bedroom, for the dinner table seemed like a battle ground to me! My hunger died with the very thought of talking to my dad. But I knew I couldn't escape it and I had to face this some day or the other. My dad sat next to me. I gulped the air that was stuck in my throat and with head bent down I had my eyes fixed on my plate. Even after five minutes, daddy spoke nothing! So I gathered up all my courage to break the ice, "Appa, I wanted to tell it myself. I was actually..." "What's her name?" he cut me without looking at my face. "Simi" I answered, "Simi Jacob Thomas." There was a smile on his face. "Bring her home tomorrow evening", he said. It made me smile too, for I felt glad to hear something like that while I expected a huge argument to spurt out. None of us spoke anything else that night. It turned out to be a total anti-climax of what I had imagined! I got back to my room after dinner, but couldn't sleep for most part of the night since I was dreaming with open eyes about the day that was to come the next morning!


The day did come :
The day did come; probably one of the most important days of my life. I told Simi that my dad wanted to meet her and also that he wasn't fussed up or anything like that and instead smiled about it. Simi didn't know what to tell, she too was very happy I thought. A year and a half of our secret relationship, a secret known to the world but hidden to our parents, was about to pay off. So, on that day, we just didn't care about whether we had completed our work or not. We left office at 4.30 in the evening, just to make sure that we don't get stuck in that dreaded Hosur road traffic. Simi left her car parked in the office itself and we both went in my car. That wasn't the first time I had driven with Simi in my Honda City, but somehow, all along the way home, my dreaming about the car being decorated with flowers and a big "Just Married" sign on a heart shaped board, made that ride very special to me!

We reached home by quarter past five. Summer time; my dad was sitting on the swing in the lawn, reading a newspaper. He got up as he saw us coming. "Namaste Uncle", Simi said folding her hands. My dad smiled back. "Hello, nice to meet you", he greeted her, "come, let's go inside", he took us in. My mom was watching tv in the hall and as we entered she got up from the sofa and switched off the tv. "Get something", my dad said to my mom and within minutes a lot of things were ready on the tea table. "Please have it" my dad said and we both started munching. "Aunty, I really like this. Kaduburight? Karthik gives me every time you send it in his lunch box. In fact, I've eaten almost every dish that you cook. You really cook very nicely aunty." Simi said looking at my mom. My mom just smiled back as a thank youto Simi's compliments.


Setting the stage:

"Sorry child, I forgot your name." My dad said. Simi was busy eating, but she'd heard it. "Uh? Uncle? Simi. My name is Simi", she replied. "Aaah! Simi Jacob Thomas, right?" My dad asked. "Yes", Simi replied and looked at my face with her eyebrows slightly raised. I did nothing else but show my teeth. There was a wide smile on my dad's face too. "What?" I asked him. "Karthik Subramanya Shastry weds Simi Jacob Thomas, somehow sounds very funny to me", he said. The smile on my face slowly reduced in width and finally when I saw the expression on Simi's face change as she took a bite of the kadubu, my smile completely died out. My dad was quick to react. He looked at Simi and said, "Oh please don't feel offended. I don't mean to hurt you. But child, I'm going to ask you a few questions and also tell you some things over which you'll need to think calmly." Uh oh! Something's coming! I told myself. Simi seemed to have heard what I'd just said in silence. She kept the half bitten kadubu back on the plate.


The talk:
"Simi. Since how long do you know Karthik?" My dad started shooting. "About a year and a half" Simi replied. "Do you think that's enough to know him?" "I guess so. Yes. That's quite enough." Simi nodded her head up and down. "Hmm...Tell me one thing, do your parents know about this?" "No uncle. I was about to tell them; after we took your permission." "And how did you assume that I will say 'yes'?" My dad was still smiling. But the expression on our faces had taken a U-turn from extreme bliss to total awe by now! Although both of us knew that we would have to face our parents' opposition, the way my dad had reacted since the night before had sprung up some positive thoughts in both of us. So this was a bit of a shock indeed.

"Simi, Simi. My dear child. I know most of what I tell you will make you feel like not listening to me. I just want you both to have the best and I know very well that it will not be so if you happen to marry." Our faces now looked like the sad emoticon that we use in our Office Communicator. But my dad continued :-( "Where do your parents stay?" "Kozhikode, Kerala." "What does your father do?" "He retired as a Branch Manager in SBI last month. Now he serves as an evangelist at a church nearby". "How many siblings do you have?" "We are four. I have a brother and two sisters." "You must be the youngest", my dad was bang on! "Yes", Simi replied, a little surprised. I knew, like me, she too wanted to know how on earth he got that! "I pity your poor dad. He seems to be a pious man. If I, being the father of the boy, feel so sad about this whole thing, I can imagine how much pain that man will go through." My dad let out a long sigh.


Somehow the things he spoke started to get on my nerves and I thought I had to do some talking. "What's wrong with this dad? I don't understand why you people should be worried. Simi and I like each other, we understand each other very well, we both have good jobs in hand, what else do we need?" "I was waiting for you to open your mouth", my dad said in a sarcastic tone. "See. You are talking only about you both; that you like each other, that you have good jobs. Then, tell me honestly, when you have decided about everything, why do you need my permission, or even her parents' permission? You can as well marry and later just inform us, right? If you feel that you will anyways go ahead no matter what, then I see no point in discussing this anymore." My dad stood up. "No uncle", Simi interrupted, "I want to listen to you." I looked at Simi with an evident frown on my face. "Please, let us talk about it. I too want to know what you feel about this." She requested my dad. But I wasn't keen on listening. I just sat with my face turned away, staring at the door. My dad sat down.

"Simi, marriage is not a child's play dear. At least in our society, it's not centered just around two people. If you had, for at least once, thought practically about your relationship, you wouldn't have carried it so far. You both are in love and that will make you think you can get along anything that comes your way. Child, married life in itself has thousand and one problems. You have to make sure that you don't invite more problems just by taking a hasty decision. "The first thing is, I'm more than a hundred percent sure that your family will not whole heartedly accept my son as their son-in-law and after this marriage, believe me, your relationship with your parents and siblings will never be the same. Even if they come to accept it at a later point of time, they will just be pretending. Some relationships if broken, take a long time to patch up and if they had been very close, it takes a lifetime. Coming out of home and living a life of your own sounds very good like in movies and stories, but the truth is, you cannot stay away from your parents forever; at least not until they are alive."

Simi was listening without blinking her eyes. "After that, come your individual dogmas. You know, his mother celebrates at home, almost every festival that's listed on the almanac. She will feel uncomfortable to let you around and get you involved. Even if she and you get along after sometime, I will guarantee, it will be limited to our house alone. You will never be invited to any function that will happen in our relatives' homes. At first, you might feel ok about it. But when Karthik will feel the pinch in his heart to know the fact that his wife is not welcomed in his relatives' places and because of that he too cannot attend those so very fun filled family gatherings that he was always a part of, he too will start to repent. "

Then there are your food habits. You are a meat eater and my son is a pure vegetarian, well at least I think so. But I don't know if he has started that too." Simi was already feeling guilty I guess. "No, he doesn't eat. But I have stopped", she said. "See. You have lost a part of yourself. You know, for your love to carry on with the same fervor forever, you should accept the person you love as he or she is, without being directly or indirectly forced to change for the sake of love. In my opinion, that's true love and everything else is just a compromise. You have given up eating meat, good; but every time you come across that, you'll always be tempted. It's perfectly ok and it's because you have been brought up in such a culture where it is almost compulsory to eat meat, whereas my son has grown up amongst people who dislike even the sight and smell of it. "

And then, you both are connected by English, a language that's not the mother tongue of either of you. I am not telling it's a bad language, but you know, it is always the mother tongue that gives you the personal touch, the closer-to-heart feeling while you talk to your, be it husband or any other person. Don't tell me that love knows no language; it is all theory and is only good for the books. The day you see a couple in love talking in your language and having those sweet little verbal fights or name-calling, in words that you can best express only in a language that is closer to your heart, you will know what you are missing. Simi was static. "Next thing is about your kids. My mother used to tell me a proverb in Kannada - Appa amma eradu daari aadare, makkaLu naaku daari anthe, meaning If the father and mother go in two directions, their children will go in four. I don't know if I've put it correctly in English but I hope you've understood it. Forget your kids, you yourself will not be able to tell them whether they have to go to the church or the temple, to be a vegetarian or a non-vegetarian, to speak Malayalam or Kannada and many such things. Finally they end up growing in a big confusion about their language, their God, their culture and everything about themselves. They might even someday curse you for landing them in such a situation. You might say that they will choose the best of both cultures. But that can happen only after they have matured enough to take decisions on their own. But again, I bet they will not be able to do that too since they wouldn't have gained a complete understanding of either of those.

"Deep down inside, you feel that you are doing something wrong and that's what has kept you from telling your parents or else you would have told it on day one that you like this guy and might as well marry him. But you feel your parents might be hurt if you do that because you know very well that they can never see him as the right guy for you and from my point of view too, he's not. Trust me, even your parents wouldn't deny if you can prove it to them that he is the right person, but in this case, you'll not be able to do that! I just guessed that you must be the youngest because if you had somebody younger to you, a sense of guilt which makes you feel that you might just be setting a bad example to the younger ones, would have stopped you from thinking about Karthik as your life partner. But again good and bad depends entirely on your perspective and for youngsters like you, it is mostly influenced by your friends outside rather than the people at home.
Looks like he's not gonna stop until she walks out, I thought, still looking away. I did not interrupt only because Simi had stopped me from it. You asked for it Simi. Now you have it. I wasn't anymore interested in disturbing her. "I too feel that I've slipped somewhere. If only I had talked about all such things to my son a long time back, he would have been more careful in choosing his life partner. But I never realized that he had grown up so much and today I feel I'm paying for my mistake. You know, you should make your children do what you feel is right until they turn 16. Then on, till 30, you should just tell them what they should do and let them do what they feel is right and after 30 there's no use of telling too. So now, I'll only have to give my suggestion and heeding to it or discarding it, is left to you both. "I know that a lot of people of your age fear arranged marriages these days and that fear is because you feel you don't know that person properly. But then, why do you think we have the concept of engagement. Get engaged before at least six months of marriage and you can get to know each other fairly during that period. If you don't think it will work out, you have lost nothing, right? Now if it doesn't work out once, it's never that you will not find someone better. You'll always do and sometimes you will realize it after you get married to someone who you then thought was the best! In case you love somebody with whom everybody around you and especially your parents will be comfortable with, engagement is just a formality.

"Anyways, I can already see from his face that he is not very happy to listen to me. So let's finish it off. But a sincere request from my side - before you listen to what your heart says, just give a chance to your brain to think about it." My dad finally finished his lecture! Nobody spoke for a moment. Finally Simi broke her silence, "Uncle, now I realize why it is important to discuss with elders. No doubt, I had never thought about many things that you told now. Please give me some time. I will definitely think about it. Thank you very much for letting me know your point of view", she said and stood up. Oh Mistress of assertiveness skills, you forgot to paraphrase - I wanted to tell loudly but somehow controlled myself. "Sure dear. I know it's not easy. Take your time. And thanks. I'm happy that at least you said you will think about it. God bless you", my dad blessed her as Simi touched his feet before leaving. "Karthik", he looked at me and said, "go drop her till home and come back." Sigh! Don't worry. I'll not run away with her. And then, it was evident,
Simi did not speak to me for some days in the office. I had sort of understood what she wanted to convey. My dad had brainwashed her. If only I had never let her talk to my dad I thought. But Simi was anytime more mature than me. She had taken time not only to think about it but also to speak with her parents; and the story on the other side was no different. Luckily, I did not get an invitation from her father to talk to him! Finally Simi told me, what is usually told by girls, that we would be better off as friends rather than being a husband and wife. But it was really difficult for me to look at her as "just a friend". Fortunately I got an onsite assignment at that time which kept me away from her for almost 10 months. I somehow managed to get over the gloom during that period. It was only after that I realized my dad too was right in a way. True. At least sometimes in life, you got to listen to your elders.


Today, Simi and I are married; to different people of course, and the best part is that we both have found very good friends as our life partners. Instead of whining over what could not happen, we have just moved on with so many other beautiful things that actually happened and of course, we are more than satisfied with whatever we have in our lives. It's like they say, if it had been any better, it would be a sin ;-) That's it!

P.S: Hats off to the person who has written this !! I was sceptical of posting this in my blog as its not my original post, yet the usefulness of the article over rides that idea... Hence, i hope i wont be guilty of plagiarizing !! ;)

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Its a Wonderful Life !!

One of my friend had written a blog on a topic called "New", in which the freshness of "New" was described. What i liked about the blog was its reference to People finding life boring as they grow Older. Iam sure many of you will agree with the fact.When we are young, we see the world with all its splendour and the immense possibilities, but as time passes by, our vision narrows down. The blog suggested people looking beyond their drawn boundaries to find the joy in life.

Well, definitely one needs to unleash his true potential and open his vision to see the world in its true colors, and experience the unlimited joy and happiness. But the Question is how do u broaden your vision ? How do u make yourself see the world as a joyful and exciting place ?

Suppose we have a Magical Specs, which will help us to look beyond, what our eyes generally can perceive.Hmmm, sounds exciting isnt but chances of finding such things are remote. Which brings us back to the question, how do we broaden our vision...?

I had attempted to answer that Question, and here is my thought flows.
To appreciate Life one must appreciate oneself. As they say, If you want to change the world , you must change yourself first. This simple yet powerful thought escapes the understanding of many of us. We are continually failing to understand the impact we make in others life. Some might argue that it may not be so, if so let me ask a Question. When was the last time you went to your Parents/Siblings/Childrens and said you Love them. Do you really know how many care about you ? Except a few, not many of us have any idea about it, coz no one has come to us saying that they value our relationship, neither we express ourself to anyone.(except expressing to a gal;).

We seem to think that as one grows old , one is supposed to less expose his feelings. Alas, what we fail to see in this is that as we began to close ourself from expressing to others,we are inadvertently closing ourself to others. And once we began to live unconsciously in solitude, we began to lose interest in Life, the cause being "Our inability to realise the importance of our existence". Since we are blind to the difference we make in the life of others,we think that Life has no meaning and that it is boring, Ofcourse it has to be, Coz you have denied yourself
the chance to seek meaning in your life, by shutting yourself out.

We tend to look at the effect like "Life is boring,dull, uninteresting" and continue to get fed of our existence, same life, same routine, same this, same that . . . But what we should have been doing is to focus on the cause that is "What made life boring" , "Why does the same routine exist" ?

The individual's belief in himself has been well illustrated in the movie "Its a Wonderful Life" wherein the principal character decides to commit suicide,coz of the adverse circumstances he finds himself in and blaming himself for all that. Fortunately, his guardian Angel saves him by making him see the world without his existence, wherein he realises the difference he has made in the life of others in his lifetime. And then he gets the desire to live again, and finds himself enjoying life even he faces a possibility of being imprisoned. This happens coz, he realises his own self worth finally.

So the solution for renewed living : Find a purpose, which you can live for, one that will help you make a difference in the life's of others. It doesnt matter if you touch .000001% or 10% of people's life what matters eventually is what you lived for in your life and how your lived it. And before you do that,ensure you express yourself to as many of ur dear ones , your love and affection. And armed with your self-worth, go and live for that purpose.

Once you see your true potential, your true capability, life will never be the same again. I dont know if Guardian Angels may come to save us from adverse circumstances, but i know for sure that we can be a Guardian Angel to someone in adverse condition.

Signing off, wishing you all a Happy Living.,. :)

Its really a Wonderful Life !!