Leadership/Business Insights from the movie "Imagine That"

“Only those who can see such signs of life are able to find treasures”

The above quote from Paulo Coelho well acclaimed “The Alchemist” stresses the point that the signs are always around us. If we can recognize, understand them and act accordingly, then our lives will far better. Often I have found that movies are a good source of motivation and the reel lives contain many insights which is applicable in our real lives. I have always found when I watch movies (maybe, not all yet some), they depict the reality of life and the humdrum which we lose ourselves into. If we look closely enough, then there are certain gems waiting to be taken and embellish our lives.

So, here we go, with understanding some insights from the movie “Imagine that”, a 2009 American comedy film starring Eddie Murphy. It centers on the relationship between a workaholic father and his daughter, Olivia, whose imaginary world becomes the solution to her father's success.

Disclaimer: This is not a movie review, I don’t have the skills to write movie review hence if you are expecting that you can read the movie plot here. The movie bombed at box office, though let that not keep you away from the amazing insights which it had.

Insight 1: Remember to have fun, not be serious always

It is interesting to note that the main protagonist of the movie, Evan is a top financial advisor ,a job which can be as serious as it can be. The pressure to be on the top and to be perfect is very high in all our work. However, it is important to have fun as we focus on work. The metaphor in the movie where Evan accepts his daughter imaginary world and starts doing childish things like dancing to please the guarding dragon etc, is an indication that fun should be an integral part of our work lives. When was the last time you had fun/real fun with your colleagues and most importantly, spending quality time with your family too.

Insight 2: Important to package your work differently to be noticed

Evan’s competitor Johnny Whitefeather has the whole company under some spell as he shares his views which sounds like nonsensical idioms filled with Native American mumbo jumbo. While, it is important to have strong content, this aspect shows why it is important to package our content with stuff which attracts the audience attention. Packaging can mean lot of things, how you structure your content, how do you deliver it, how to brand your initiative or position it to your target members. While focusing on packaging, ensure the content is solid and has value addition, without which the process will fail, which leads to our next insight, which is.

Insight 3: Air talk doesn’t win always, hard work matter

Evan gets used to his daughter’s help with her blanket “Go-gaa” to get financial investment tips. When the golden opportunity of leading his firm comes up, he and his competitor has to crunch numbers and present their analysis. Both Evan and his rival Johnny end up looking for help from imaginary sources instead of doing the hard work. Johnny tries to impress the client by talking mumbo jumbo, which gets called out as Air talk for lacking any meaning. Fortunately for Evan, his daughter ends up spending time at her friends and isn’t available, so even though he forcibly gets the “Go-gaa”, he eventually ends up working late through night to crunch the numbers and make solid analysis, which helps him make a better impression to win the coveted deal.

Bottom line, all said and done, if you are really keen to win, ensure you don’t compromise on hard work. Hardwork after all is the secret to success.

Insight 4: Family matters, focus on quality time with family

Everyone has pressure to prove at work. And everything comes at a cost. Most often, people run behind material success, money, fame at the detriment of their family relationships. Work is important no doubt about it, and there is nothing wrong in aspiring high and working hard for the promotion. Yet, it is wise to realize that all said and done, our true (invaluable, if I can add) possessions will be our family relationships with our spouse/kids and parents, and true friends/dear ones.

It is unfortunate to see people spend their peak time of their lives in making money and not being there for their kids and when they are ready to spend time with kids, they have grown and gone out to make their own lives. Look back at your life and ask this question, how much quality time you are having with your family and dear ones.

Insight 5: Find your style, don’t copy others blindly

Johnny assumes that Evan is using a shaman technique to make hit guesses about whether to buy or sell company stock, which has led to his popularity. So, when the big moment presents itself, where both are given a task to analyze portfolio holdings of the legendary investor, Johnny resorts to forcing his son to the medium to get shamanic insights, in the process, forgets to do the required analysis of the holdings, where as if he had done it properly, he would have walked off with the prize.

At work and life, we may sometimes be amazed by others style of doing things. While it is good to derive inspiration from others, one should blindly copy someone else style, at best it will give you mediocre outcome and worst, leave you looking like a fool. In business too, this becomes important, when companies try to adopt other’s best practices without customizing it to its own culture.

Hope you found the above insights useful and relevant. What other insights have you had from the movie. Would love to hear your thoughts, leave them in the comment section.

Stay Safe and Sound.

Five Insights from my Full Marathon Experience

You don't know what you can do till you try. 2 years back, 5 km Marathon looked like a monumental step for me.  I remember vividly the first 5 km marathon which I ran in 2011. Tired to the core after stretching myself to the limit to complete 5km, I thought I had done it. Then the 10km happened. Then the 21 km. After completing 21 km twice, finally, I mustered the courage to try out a full marathon. 42.198 km. and it happened at the Wipro Chennai Marathon event, which became the 2^nd most happening Marathon events in India after garnering 10000 runners, after the Standard Chartered Mumbai Marathon. 

I completed it in 7 hours & 20 minutes. Comparing it with other full marathon runners, the timing is ridiculously long enough to consider it as an achievement. But considering the fact that after running for 22km, I got knee pain and blisters in feet, & hence had to walk the remaining 20km, it’s amazing in one way, because I never fainted ;) On a serious note, during the run, I gained some insights which are very much applicable and relevant to our day today lives. I hope this post will help you get few insights of your own.  

1. It’s all in your mind:

Ideally, for a full marathon, a minimum of 6 weeks of training is recommended. So to get your muscles used to the full rigor. In my case, I had recovered from a viral fever 3 weeks back & was held up with few personal commitments to get the required time to practice for 6 weeks. By the time, I realized that I had to start practicing, it was just 1 week ahead for the marathon.

Still, with some exercises & practices in the last 1 week, I was set for the marathon. I realized that it mostly is a mind thing. Definitely, the practice helps, but more than the practice, its what you decide in your mind. My colleague Bala A had attempted 21Km as his first marathon and was able to complete it, without much of a practice. Iam not advocating running without any practice (you may not be that lucky ;)) but the point is, if you think you can do it, you will do it. Period.

In our lives too, let it be your goals, ambitions, desires, what you think in your mind, plays a big thing. No matter where you are, what you are, how you are, just BELIEVE that you can do, whatever you desire to do. In due time, you will achieve what you set out to do. Just realize it & leverage it, after all, It’s all in your mind. 

2. Relax, It’s your race to run:

When running the race, I saw people running faster than me, running far better than me. Sometimes, it was disappointing to see, how badly I was faring when compared to rest of the folks who were doing a much better job. But gradually, it dawned on me, that it was my marathon to run and I needn’t worry myself about how others were running the marathon. Others may have had a better (or less) practice, better (or none) accessories, may be running their 5^th, 10^th (or 1^st) marathon.  Due to the knee pain and blisters, I was walking (mind it, not running) at a speed which would have made a tortoise speed look awesome! All this lead to a timing of 7 hour 20 minutes (Gosh, feels so embarrassing to say this long time!), and I was feeling bad over it, with every passing minute. But then the truth dawned. “So What?” Only, when I realized that it was my marathon to run & I can run it in any way, without any pressure or comparisons, I became relieved & tried to enjoy the run.

Similarly in life, as long as we are concerned about what others have, what others make, wear, speak, do, you will never be able to focus on the most important stuff, i.e YOU. You will just continue to waste your energy, time and effort living your life, the way you think, others expect from you. It’s other life, they are living it their way. You have a life to live, live it your way.  What others are and do is none of your concern, what you are and do is everything for your concern. So, friend, Relax, it’s your race to run.

3. There are some things you can never be prepared for:

I had kept a target time of 6 hours to complete the Marathon but I never anticipated the knee pain & blisters to occur. It had come few times before, but after running at Gym for 2-3 days, the knee pain had subsided. I thought it wouldn’t come. Similarly, it had started raining cats & dogs, shortly after the Marathon began. No matter, how much I had practiced before (though, I hadn’t done much practice), I could never have practiced with a knee pain or blisters. Likewise, the unexpected down pour of rain.

The point is, in our lives too, we can’t be prepared for few things. No matter, how cautious or well planned you are, you will always be hit by the unexpected in life. The question then is, what do you do then? When it happens, it helps to laugh at life’s unexpected twist & say to Life “You know what, I expected the unexpected”. Trust me, it helps quite a lot to know “There are some things you can never be prepared for”

4. You can’t do it alone:

After I had completed 24km, I met another runner (Ezhil Kumar) who was walking at a similar pace. Gradually we struck conversation and I got to know that even he had got blisters in his feet, due to which he wasn’t able to run or jog at all. It was his 3^rd marathon and he considered it as the worst, coz of the unexpected rain and the pain.  Still, we managed to walk on. Many times, either he or I wanted to sit down for a while, take some rest but then, we continued to encourage and push each one to move on, one step at a time. In due time, both of us completed our Marathons, with our continued support to each  other playing a crucial role in helping us complete it. Likewise, 2 of my colleagues Nageshwar Sahu & Narita Kumari who had run 10km and 21km respectively, were waiting for me at the end to complete  my race. A senior leader (Venky) in my company, who is an avid runner, had shared some tips and wished me luck for the race. Few colleagues (Dharma, Uma, Sahu, Narita) had even called during the race to check if I was doing all right. Similarly, the encouragement said by the volunteers at the aid station, was very helpful. Such support played an immense role in ensuring that I complete the marathon at any cost.

I realized that no matter what we do, achieve in life, it wouldn’t be possible; without others support and encouragement. It doesn’t mean, one cant do anything by himself. The initiative certainly has to be taken by someone, but in due course, unless you have someone to support you, to motivate you, to mentor you, to believe in you, you can’t do it alone.

5. Your actions have a meaning:

Finally, after completion of the race, when the news spread to my colleagues, friends, they all congratulated me and celebrated it as if it was their own achievement. It was so touching to see that. Some even said that my act was an inspiration to them, to try out something new. Looking at it, I realized that what we do every-day, knowingly or un-knowingly makes a big difference in someone’s lives. We may keep speaking about stuff to be done but in the end, what we do, what others see us do, makes a big difference.  

In our daily lives, in the different roles that we don, a father, son, friend, brother, colleague, manager; everything we do, will impact someone’s lives in some way. A caring word, a shoulder to cry, a small support, may have impact, far beyond anyone’s imagination. We may or may not attach any meaning to it, but chances are that others might make BIG sense of your actions. So, friends, bottom line, whatever you do, think once before you say or do something, because way beyond your imaginations, your actions have a meaning

That brings me to the end of the post. Hope, you found the post useful in some-way. Before I end the post, I have a small request to you. If you haven’t tried running marathon yet, its time you give it a shot. Start with 5km or 10km, depending upon your appetite, believe me, the experience is truly mind boggling and elevating. Apart from the health benefits, you will do yourself a world of favor, by adopting a habit, which will give you memorable memories for a LONG RUN. :)

For those planning to take part in the upcoming Marathons, here are the details of the next eagerly awaited ones:

Dawn to Dusk (in Jan): http://eventjini.com/dawntodusk

Auroville Marathon (in Feb): http://marathon.auroville.com/

As a closing note, I would like to thank my Mom, my sister Chinth Nidhi, Sahu, Narita, Venky, Vikramadhetan (my 10^th school batchmate, who I got to know recently & who is an avid runner), David, Dharma, Uma (BACI Team Aspire members), Ezhil Kumar, Harish Raichandani (facilitator who completed his dream of full marathon at the age of 50 and whose marathon experience was a morale booster) for their support and encouragement in helping me complete my FULL Marathon. Also, thanks to my BACI Toastmaster friends for their hearty wishes. :)

Paths Are Made By Walking - A Touching Read

A saying goes 'The best of things are always found in the simplest things'. It's surprising that as we grow, we tend to forget about the simple things which really gives us happiness. Some of my favorite speeches include that of Steve Jobs speech, the Last Lecture which has touched many people just by the simplicity of their message.Recently, i had read a graduation speech by Nipun Mehta, and was touched by the simple message it share. I have shared the entire transcript of the speech below for your benefit. Iam sure you would be touched too. Happy reading!

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[Offbeat Graduation Speech Gets Standing Ovation: 2012's Baccalaureate speaker at the University of Pennsylvania was an unconventional choice for an Ivy League school. To address their newly-minted graduates, aspiring to dazzling careers, they picked a man who has never in his adult life, applied for a job. A man who hasn't worked for pay in nearly a decade, and whose self-stated mission is simply "to bring smiles to the world and stillness to my heart". This off-the-radar speaker launched his address with a startling piece of advice. Following up with four key insights gleaned from a radical 1000 km walking pilgrimage through the villages of India. As he closed his one-of-a-kind Graduation Day speech, the sea of cap and gowned students rose to their feet for a standing ovation. What follows is the full transcript of the talk by Nipun Mehta. --DailyGood Editors]

 

Thank you to my distinguished friends, President Amy Gutmann, Provost Vincent Price and Rev. Charles Howard for inviting me to share a few reflections on this joyous occasion.  It is an honor and privilege to congratulate you -- UPenn’s class of 2012. 

 

Right now each one of you is sitting on the runway of life primed for takeoff. You are some of the world's most gifted, elite, and driven college graduates – and you are undeniably ready to fly.  So what I’m about to say next may sound a bit crazy.  I want to urge you, not to fly, but to – walk.  Four years ago, you walked into this marvelous laboratory of higher learning. Today, heads held high, you walk to receive your diplomas.  Tomorrow, you will walk into a world of infinite possibilities. 

 

But walking, in our high-speed world, has unfortunately fallen out of favor.  The word “pedestrian” itself is used to describe something ordinary and commonplace.  Yet, walking with intention has deep roots.  Australia's aboriginal youth go on walkabouts as a rite of passage; Native American tribes conduct vision quests in the wilderness; in Europe, for centuries, people have walked the Camino de Santiago, which spans the breadth of Spain.  Such pilgrims place one foot firmly in front of the other, to fall in step with the rhythms of the universe and the cadence of their own hearts. 

 

Back in 2005, six months into our marriage, my wife and I decided to “step it up” ourselves and go on a walking pilgrimage.  At the peak of our efforts with ServiceSpace, we wondered if we had the capacity to put aside our worldly success and seek higher truths.  Have you ever  thought of something and then just known that it had to happen? It was one of those things.  So we sold all our major belongings, and bought a one-way ticket to India.  Our plan was to head to Mahatma Gandhi’s ashram, since he had always been an inspiration to us, and then walk South.  Between the two of us, we budgeted a dollar a day, mostly for incidentals -- which meant that for our survival we had to depend utterly on the kindness of strangers.  We ate whatever food was offered and slept wherever place was offered.  

 

Now, I do have to say, such ideas come with a warning: do not try this at home, because your partner might not exactly welcome this kind of honeymoon. :-)

 

For us, this walk was a pilgrimage -- and our goal was simply to be in a space larger than our egos, and to allow that compassion to guide us in unscripted acts of service along the way.  Stripped entirely of our comfort zone and accustomed identities, could we still “keep it real”?  That was our challenge.

 

We ended up walking 1000 kilometers over three months. In that period, we encountered the very best and the very worst of human nature -- not just in others, but also within ourselves.

 

Soon after we ended the pilgrimage, my uncle casually popped the million dollar question at the dinner table: "So, Nipun, what did you learn from this walk?"  I didn't know where to begin.  But quite spontaneously, an acronym -- W-A-L-K -- came to mind, which encompassed the key lessons we had learned, and continue to relearn, even to this day.  As you start the next phase of your journey, I want to share those nuggets with the hope that it might illuminate your path in some small way too.

 

The W in WALK stands for Witness.  When you walk, you quite literally see more.  Your field of vision is nearly 180 degrees, compared to 40 degrees when you’re traveling at 62 mph.  Higher speeds smudge our peripheral vision, whereas walking actually broadens your canvas and dramatically shifts the objects of your attention.  For instance, on our pilgrimage, we would notice the sunrise everyday, and how, at sunset, the birds would congregate for a little party of their own.  Instead of adding Facebook friends online, we were actually making friends in person, often over a cup of hot “chai”.   Life around us came alive in a new way.   

 

A walking pace is the speed of community.  Where high speeds facilitate separation, a slower pace gifts us an opportunity to commune.  

 

As we traversed rural India at the speed of a couple of miles per hour, it became clear how much we could learn simply by bearing witness to the villagers' way of life.   Their entire mental model is different -- the multiplication of wants is replaced by the basic fulfillment of human needs.When you are no longer preoccupied with asking for more and more stuff; then you just take what is given and give what is taken.  Life is simple again.  A farmer explained it to us this way: "You cannot make the clouds rain more, you cannot make the sun shine less.  They are just nature's gifts -- take it or leave it."  

 

When the things around you are seen as gifts, they are no longer a means to an end; they are the means and the end.  And thus, a cow-herder will tend to his animals with the compassion of a father, a village woman will wait 3 hours for a delayed bus without a trace of anger, a child will spend countless hours fascinated by stars in the galaxy, and finding his place in the vast cosmos.

 

So with today's modernized tools at your ready disposal, don’t let yourself zoom obliviously from point A to point B on the highways of life; try walking the backroads of the world, where you will witness a profoundly inextricable connection with all living things. 

 

The A in WALK stands for Accept.   When walking in this way, you place yourself in the palm of the universe, and face its realities head on. We walked at the peak of summer, in merciless temperatures hovering above 120 degrees.  Sometimes we were hungry, exhausted and even frustrated. Our bodies ached for just that extra drink of water, a few more moments in the shade, or just that little spark of human kindness. Many times we received that extra bit, and our hearts would overflow with gratitude.  But sometimes we were abruptly refused, and we had to cultivate the capacity to accept the gifts hidden in even the most challenging of moments.

 

I remember one such day, when we approached a rest house along a barren highway.  As heavy trucks whizzed past, we saw a sign, announcing that guests were hosted at no charge. “Ah, our lucky day,” we thought in delight.  I stepped inside eagerly.  The man behind the desk looked up and asked sharply, “Are you here to see the temple?” A simple yes from my lips would have instantly granted us a full meal and a room for the night.  But it wouldn’t have been the truth. So instead, I said, “Well, technically, no sir. We’re on a walking pilgrimage to become better people. But we would be glad to visit the temple.”  Rather abruptly, he retorted: “Um, sorry, we can’t host you.”  Something about his curt arrogance triggered a slew of negative emotions. I wanted to make a snide remark in return and slam the door on my way out.  Instead, I held my raging ego in check.  In that state of physical and mental exhaustion, it felt like a Herculean task-- but through the inner turmoil a voice surfaced within, telling me to accept the reality of this moment.

 

There was a quiet metamorphosis in me.  I humbly let go of my defenses, accepted my fate that day, and turned to leave without a murmur.  Perhaps the man behind the counter sensed this shift in me, because he yelled out just then, “So what exactly are you doing again?”  After my brief explanation he said, “Look, I can’t feed you or host you, because rules are rules.  But there are restrooms out in the back.  You could sleep outside the male restroom and your wife can sleep outside the female restroom.”  Though he was being kind, his offer felt like salt in my wounds.  We had no choice but to accept. 

 

That day we fasted and that night, we slept by the bathrooms.  A small lie could’ve bought us an upgrade, but that would’ve been no pilgrimage.  As I went to sleep with a wall separating me from my wife, I had this beautiful, unbidden vision of a couple climbing to the top of a mountain from two different sides.  Midway through this difficult ascent, as the man contemplated giving up, a small sparrow flew by with this counsel, “Don’t quit now, friend.  Your wife is eager to see you at the top.”  He kept climbing. A few days later, when the wife found herself on the brink of quitting, the little sparrow showed up with the same message.  Step by step, their love sustained their journey all the way to the mountaintop. Visited by the timely grace of this vision, I shed a few grateful tears -- and this story became a touchstone not only in our relationship, but many other noble friendships as well.

 

So I encourage you to cultivate equanimity and accept whatever life tosses into your laps -- when you do that, you will be blessed with the insight of an inner transformation that is yours to keep for all of time.

 

The L in WALK stands for Love.  The more we learned from nature, and built a kind of inner resilience to external circumstances, the more we fell into our natural state -- which was to be loving.  In our dominant paradigm, Hollywood has insidiously co-opted the word, but the love I’m talking about here is the kind of love that only knows one thing -- to give with no strings attached.  Purely.  Selflessly. 

 

Most of us believe that to give, we first need to have something to give.  The trouble with that is, that when we are taking stock of what we have, we almost always make accounting errors.  Oscar Wilde once quipped, “Now-a-days, people know the price of everything, but the value of nothing.”  We have forgotten how to value things without a price tag.  Hence, when we get to our most abundant gifts -- like attention, insight, compassion -- we confuse their worth because they’re, well, priceless.  

 

On our walking pilgrimage, we noticed that those who had the least were most readily equipped to honor the priceless.  In urban cities, the people we encountered began with an unspoken wariness: “Why are you doing this?  What do you want from me?”   In the countryside, on the other hand, villagers almost always met us with an open-hearted curiosity launching straight in with: “Hey buddy, you don’t look local.  What’s your story?”  

 

In the villages, your worth wasn’t assessed by your business card, professional network or your salary. That innate simplicity allowed them to love life and cherish all its connections.  

 

Extremely poor villagers, who couldn’t even afford their own meals, would often borrow food from their neighbors to feed us.  When we tried to refuse, they would simply explain: “To us, the guest is God.  This is our offering to the divine in you that connects us to each other.”  Now, how could one refuse that?  Street vendors often gifted us vegetables; in a very touching moment, an armless fruit-seller once insisted on giving us a slice of watermelon.  Everyone, no matter how old, would be overjoyed to give us directions, even when they weren’t fully sure of them. :)  And I still remember the woman who generously  gave us water when we were extremely thirsty -- only to later discover that she had to walk 10 kilometers at 4AM to get that one bucket of water. These people knew how to give, not because they had a lot, but because they knew how to love life.  They didn’t need any credit or assurance that you would ever return to pay them back.  Rather, they just trusted in the pay-it-forward circle of giving.

 

When you come alive in this way, you'll realize that true generosity doesn’t start when you have some thing to give, but rather when there’s nothing in you that’s trying to take.  So I hope that you will make all your precious moments an expression of loving life.

 

And lastly, the K in WALK stands for Know Thyself. 

 

Sages have long informed us that when we serve others unconditionally, we shift from the me-to-the-we and connect more deeply with the other.  That matrix of inter-connections allows for a profound quality of mental quietude.  Like a still lake undisturbed by waves or ripples, we are then able to see clearly into who we are and how we can live in deep harmony with the environment around us.

 

When one foot walks, the other rests.  Doing and being have to be in balance. 

 

Our rational mind wants to rightfully ensure progress, but our intuitive mind also needs space for the emergent, unknown and unplanned to arise.   Doing is certainly important, but when we aren't aware of our internal ecosystem, we get so vested in our plans and actions, that we don't notice the buildup of mental residue.  Over time, that unconscious internal noise starts polluting our motivations, our ethics and our spirit.  And so, it is critical to still the mind. A melody, after all, can only be created with the silence in between the notes. 

  

As we walked -- witnessed, accepted, loved -- our vision of the world indeed grew clearer.  That clarity, paradoxically enough, blurred our previous distinctions between me versus we, inner transformation versus external impact, and selfishness versus selflessness. They were inextricably connected. When a poor farmer gave me a tomato as a parting gift, with tears rolling down his eyes, was I receiving or giving?  When sat for hours in silent meditation, was the benefit solely mine or would it ripple out into the world?  When I lifted the haystack off an old man's head and carried it for a kilometer, was I serving him or serving myself?

 

Which is to say, don't just go through life -- grow through life. It will be easy and tempting for you to arrive at reflexive answers -- but make it a point, instead, to acknowledge mystery and welcome rich questions ... questions that nudge you towards a greater understanding of this world and your place in it.

 

That’s W-A-L-K.  And today, at this momentous milestone of your life, you came in walking and you will go out walking.   As you walk on into a world that is increasingly aiming to move beyond the speed of thought, I hope you will each remember the importance of traveling at the speed of thoughtfulness. I hope that you will take time to witness our magnificent interconnections. That you will accept the beautiful gifts of life even when they aren’t pretty, that you will practice loving selflessly and strive to know your deepest nature. 

 

I want to close with a story about my great grandfather.  He was a man of little wealth who still managed to give every single day of his life.  Each morning, he had a ritual of going on a walk -- and as he walked, he diligently fed the ant hills along his path with small pinches of wheat flour.  Now that is an act of micro generosity so small that it might seem utterly negligible, in the grand scheme of the universe.  How does it matter?  It matters in that it changed him inside.  And my great grandfather's goodness shaped the worldview of my grandparents who in turn influenced that of their children -- my parents.   Today those ants and the ant hills are gone, but my great grandpa’s spirit is very much embedded in all my actions and their future ripples. It is precisely these small, often invisible, acts of inner transformation that mold the stuff of our being, and bend the arc of our shared destiny. 

 

On your walk, today and always, I wish you the eyes to see the anthills and the heart to feed them with joy. 

 

May you be blessed. Change yourself -- change the world.

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This is a transcript of the Baccalaureate address to UPenn's graduating class of 2012, delivered by Nipun Mehta. Nipun is the founder of ServiceSpace.org, a nonprofit that works at the intersection of gift-economy, technology and volunteerism. His popular TED talk Designing for Generosity provides an overview of their work and guiding principles.

Pursuit of Happiness

If you think that this post is on the movie “Pursuit of Happyness”, I commend you for guessing something which most of us would have done. Anyways, this article isn’t about that. I was reading an article on balancing life and money, and I realized how many of us over rate money in our life. Not to suggest that having more money is bad. An i-pad, i-phone, a new car, a trendy watch definitely brings a smile in your face (and jealous glances from others), still it is surprising to see the extent to which money is sought after. Likewise, Happiness is equally under rated in our lives, albeit all of us want happiness, but only few dare to take steps to be happy.  Many of us get so busy running after money, hoping to earn some extra cash, that we forget that we are letting ourselves into a money trap. The more you think of getting rich, the more you exhaust your mental and physical faculties, resulting in the decline of your health (the very thing required for leading a happy life)

“Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” --- Nathaniel Hawthorne

So I have penned few thoughts on the ways to be more Happier in your life. I dont claim that these are the only ways to pursuit happiness. There a lot many things which one must do so to lead a Happy life, and these things are few of such ideas to be Happy...

1. Have a purpose: Having a purpose in life creates wonders. Great leaders have always emphasized that having a greater mission or calling gives you the energy to go about doing your daily activites. Hence, make ‘living rich’ your life purpose rather than 'getting rich'. The pursuit of money as a primary goal has negative mental health consequences. resulting in lower self-esteem,depression, and more trouble in the relationships."

2. Indulge in fun activity: I have used the word ‘fun’ to indicate things which one loves doing. May it be taking a walk, swimming, book reading or whatever be the activity, take sometime of your daily life for it. Studies have shown that doing things which one loves, not only is a great entertainment, it also rejuvenates the mind and the body. When was the last time, you did the activity which you loved doing. If the answer to it is anything before 1 month, its high time you do something about it.

3. Be ‘pragmatic’: It’s always better to be realistic rather than be ‘dramatic’ in our lives. The main source of sadness/disappointments in our lives is due to our unrealistic expectations. As a wise sage said that all we need is what we really need, remaining else is ‘just extra’.  If we think about it, we will realize that there are very few things which we really need, the others are extravagant. Hence, leading a realistic life is a sure way to lead a satisfied life.

4. Beware of the ‘Matching feeling’: Most often in life, we are concerned about the things our neighbor has, rather than what we have. This matching concept leads us to live others life. We let others decide what we buy, when we buy and why we buy. Happy people concentrate on their own successes and don't compare themselves -- their income, their family time -- with others. So, its time to unlock yourselves from the clutches of ‘matching’; un-match and live your life. 

5. Stop thinking and Start living: God has blessed us with a unique gift - brains, and we ended up being so grateful that we decided to use this gift for everything. And I mean for everything. Probably, our ancestors took an oath that we will continue to use our brains until the end. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to say that we shouldn’t think. On the contrary, we should think before doing something. But the ‘thinking’ has to have a limit. If you could look into your own life, think of the times when you spent lots of time on thinking, planning, ……ing…ing…ing…! Yea, that’s true. Just recall the number of new ideas which you have got until now and how many times you were excited to go about doing it. Yes, you would achieved a lot many of them, only if you hadnt thought much about the other variables. Will i be able to do it, would my parents approve of it, will i be able to  get the necessary support etc etc... Many of our plans don’t fruition because of our habit of perennial thinking/planning. Life would be better lived if only we could stop worrying of the various consequences and take the first step to execute your plans…

6. A Googly:   I was just checking if you do follow, what you read. There is no 6th idea. So enough of reading and start living ;)

Wishing you a Happy living and a good journey towards the pursuit of Happyness…

Am I with a right partner?

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?" The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author. Here's the answer. Every relationship has a cycle...In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything.

That's why it's called "falling" in love. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?"

And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown. The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. 

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are predictable.
 
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you refuse to let GO!!

Source: Mail. Thanks Preeti for sharing this. And Happy Bday to you. :)

Que Sera Sera

Que Sera Sera means Whatever Will Be, Will Be.

There lived an old man and his son near a mountainous area. They belonged to a tribe which consisted of 30 other families. The tribe’s primary mode of occupation was cattle rearing. Cattles were used not only for their livelihood but other avenues of revenue generation such as farming, transportation etc. Among the cattle, the sheep constituted the majority of the cattle followed by horse. Since the majority of the revenues came from renting their cattle nearby village, the wealth of a family was determined by the number of cattle they possessed, which it turn reflected the social standing of a family among its tribe. The tribal man had 5 sheeps and 1 horse which he had obtained from his father and had continued the same occupation since he was young. He too had trained his son in the same occupation. The young son specifically looked after the horse while the old man cared for the sheeps.

One day, the old man received a note requesting him for few goods from the nearby village. He instructed his son to leave for the village. The young son left in his horse along with the goods. While returning, due to the continuous journey, he stopped in a place for taking a brief nap. When he woke up, his horse had vanished. He wondered if the horse had been taken by some bandits or if it had run away. Mulling over this, he reached home and conveyed the sad news to his father. Possessing a horse was a matter of pride among the tribe and losing the only horse affected the old man’s status in the village. When the villagers came to know of the news, they all remarked “How unfortunate. What are you going to do now”? The old man remarked “Que Sera Sera”. The villagers nodded silently and left but internally they mocked him. Maybe he has become very sad and hence replying like this. 

Months went by. One day, the young son woke up and opened the door. He was surprised to see his horse standing outside his home. More surprisingly, there stood a female horse along with his horse.  His horse had gone into the jungle along with a female horse and now it had returned back home.The son ran to his father to convey the good news. The villagers were surprised by the turn of events. They went to the old man and congratulated him. Now his status had increased in the tribe. Having a male and female horse was perfect as they would produce more horses. ‘Your life has changed now. This is an occasion for big celebration, they remarked’. The old man smiled and replied ‘Que Sera Sera’.  The villagers wondered what the old man meant. Instead of celebrating with them, he was playing it down. Crazy old man, they said and went away.

The young son started training with his horse and its companion. During one such training, the son took the two horses to the mountains and while on the way back, he tumbled and fell down. Due to the fall, he broke his leg. Somehow he reached home and was hospitalized immediately. He underwent therapy but the doctors said that the young man can’t walk normally again. He would have to limp for the rest of his life. When the villagers came to know of the news, they met the old man and offered their condolences. ‘Poor guy, it must be really hard on you to see your son in this state’ remarked one fellow. The old man had a grim face. He felt sad about the state of his son and felt sorry for him. He just replied ‘Que Sera Sera’.  

The son got well and resumed his daily work. Though he couldn’t walk normally as before, he got used to moving around with a limp. Few weeks later, the messengers from the King arrived in the village. They had a message from the King. There were rumors that the neighbor king had plans to attack their country.  In order to have his army at full strength, the king had passed a declaration making it compulsory for all the young people to come forward and be a part of the army. For all the youngsters volunteering, their families will be awarded 5 gold coins. The villagers were excited on hearing the news. All the youngsters from the village were able to join the army and were awarded 5 gold coins. Everyone except the son of the old man. The villagers remarked ‘You won’t get the gold coins since your son’s leg is broken & he can’t join the army. The old man replied ‘True. My son can’t fight properly due to his current state and volunteer for the army’. ‘You would have been lucky had your son been in good health’, said the villagers. ‘Que Sera Sera’, replied the old man. 

The youngsters were taken to the city capital as part of the army. No news came from them for two months. The villagers wondered what had happened. Then one day, a messenger from the King arrived there.  He announced that ‘the neighbor king had attacked their kingdom.  The war raged for 2 month and finally with great difficulty, they were able to subdue & defeat the enemy forces.’ The villagers cheered.  ‘But there is sad news. In the war, many of the young soldiers had died while fighting for their country. & others have been badly injured. ‘Saying so, he read the list of soldiers who had died in the battle & those who had been injured. All the bereaved families would be given some compensation from the King’s treasury. The villagers were shell-shocked. For the next two days, the whole village mourned the dead soldiers. The old man & his son visited the bereaved families and expressed their condolences. They said to the old man ‘Please apologize us for mocking at you before. We have lost our only child’. The old man consoled them and said “Que Sera Sera” and walked on…..

P.S: Life has its up and downs. We don’t have control over what might happen in our life but we do have control over our reactions to it. Understanding that all events (both happy and sad) are transient would be a source of everlasting joy in our lives.

Some of the Life's Important Lessons !

I had come across these stories before. Recently, i got to read these through a friend. No matter, how many times one reads it, it keeps getting more funnier, Not to mention the morals which are ever green.

Lesson 1: Naked Wife


A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…
“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 3
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.


Lesson 5: Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.


Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

Perspective

Recently I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine. She was narrating a situation in which she and her colleague had some disagreement about something. My friend had suggested going to a temple. Her friend wasn’t interested in going to temple and had rejected the idea. Moreover, being an atheist, she made few strong statements on the non-existence of God. My friend who is quite a pious person strongly felt about this. Though she didn’t voice her disagreement openly ,thinking it might affect their working relation, she found me as an outlet for venting her anger on her colleague. “How could she say that God doesn’t exist and that one shouldn’t go to temples”. While, I understood her feeling about being reverent, she was unable to take the feeling that her colleague had mocked at her beliefs. I felt bad for her more for the fact that she was allowing her time to be wasted by thinking about something which had already happened.  More-ever, her friend can't be blamed too, since she believes in the non-existence of God and hence she would justify her own thoughts. My friend wasn’t really convinced with this.

We tend to come across this kind of situation many times. Sometimes, our colleagues, friends behave in a way which is completely unacceptable to us. Irrespective of their behavior being right or wrong, the message which I want to share with others is the concept of considering the perspective of others. At least for the sake for not upsetting yourselves and end up wasting your time by thinking about others. Though, we may think that our view is justified, there is a chance that the other person may be right in someway. In order to substantiate my point, let me take you through a small exercise. Look at the picture shown below very closely and try to see anything you can. Make a note of, what you see in that.

Now, what if I say that there are 2 images in the picture. 1^st image which you obviously would have noticed (for those who have identified the 2 images, you made my job easier) and the 2^nd, image waiting to be found. The image most of you would have identified is the image of a nice, fashionable lady with a petite nose and wearing a hat and a necklace. The image which would have eluded most of you would be the image of an old woman with a big hook nose and her shawl. [Trying looking at the image more closely for sometime, if you aren’t able to see the 2^nd image. The young woman’s chin is the nose of the old woman and young woman’s ear is the old woman’s eye]

This research was done in Harvard Business school. Half of the students were shown the image of the young girl and remaining the old woman image. Then they were called to the classroom and shown the picture. Almost all the students who were shown the image of the young woman saw the young woman in the picture.  And the students who had seen the old lady image saw the image of the old lady. When the class was asked to explain what they had seen, the class started arguing about the image identity, half the class saying that there was a young girl in the picture and the other half claiming it was a old woman.  Finally, only when a student went up to the board and pointed to the drawing saying that it is the woman’s necklace, did another student pointed that it was the old woman’s mouth. Then only the student started calmly discussing the specific points of difference and both groups came to see each others opinion.  This was shown to demonstrate clearly and eloquently that two people can see the same thing and yet disagree, and yet both may be right.  

The general message which I want to share here is the fact that next time you disagree with your Mom or your best friend or your boy/girl friend  or your colleague, Just before raising your own tone and trying to prove your point, take some-time in considering their perspective. You never know that both of you might be true but may be looking at different aspects of the same problem. You may end up winning the battle but may lose the war… Hence, it always helps to ensure that you appreciate other people's viewpoint and look at their point of view and then share your view point to ensure that you not only solve the contention peacefully but also end up becoming a little bit more wiser…