Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A Child's Tender Life - Make it, Dont Break it !!

I was surfing through some blogs when i came across a blog where in a girl had shared her grief of losing her friend who had committed suicide.,. And why did her friend suicide.,. She suicided because of a failed relationship.... Just because the relationship didnt work out, or because they had to break up,the girl took the liberty of taking her own life, leaving everyone who were there for her in tears.,. Recently there has been a spate of news saying someone committed suicide because of a bad performance in academics, or because of an uncertain future or because of a failed relationship.. I dont want to rant my feelings on how bad the family of the deceased would feel, nor why such a senseless decision to take their life was taken. I want to muse over the reason's why such cases of suicide continues to happen and how to create an awareness and as well as share/get some insights from wise people like you on how these things could be prevented....

I agree that Depression is the number one reason to commit suicide.,. As one of my friend said its due to a huge expectation on someone/something, our attachment to it and to find that we have been cheated or that our expectations wont be met, which prompts people to take the extreme step. I understand how depressed one will be, and its quite natural to be depressed, yet it doesnt guarantee taking the extreme step. I feel one of the reason's for such things happenings is the lack of moral support for the person concerned.. I know it sounds vague, yet take any instance.

The Family members expect the child to perform exceedingly well, to be first and want him/her to be the best. In that case, naturally the child gets bog down by other's expectations. What they need at such stage , is the belief that no matter what happens, the Family is always for them,that there are people who will understand them, empathize with them[not judge them]. I know every family member is always present for each other, yet can i know how many people voice it to their children their love and their belief in them. As far as i know there are some families where the parents are so obsessed and busy with their work, that they don't have any time to see their children, forget talking with them. Its such a pity that some elders think that Money will take care of all the concerns of a child and a posh home, and a good status of living is all that Children need.,.They couldnt have a much wronger notion.

Also pressure on children to perform well in academics has been taken to extreme levels.,. I heard of a case where in a daughter after doing her Board exams felt that she wont be able to match her family expectation. She took the extreme step and when the results came she had stood first in her school. In other cases,where in children who are talented in some other fields, and who are not able to perform exceedingly well in acads, are fed with the notion that if you are not good at Acads, you are not fit for nothing. The amount to which it affects a child's confidence cant be fathomed.,.

Yes, the teaching style of institutions and the belief system shares an equal blame for such things. Yet more than that, it must start with each family. Please tell your kids that its they who matters a lot more than their report sheet. I understand that all parents have their own expectations of their child and its for the child well-being. Yet the child can do wonders if you make him belief that he has the capacity to succeed and give him constant support and encouragement. A real life example of this is none other than the Brainiest person to have lived in the earth -Albert Einstein. I dont know how many of you know that Einstein was a schizophrenic child and his maths teacher had asked him to leave school as she thought that he was not fit to study maths. Yet Albert's Mother believed in her son, and coached him, teaching him herself, and Albert's action speaks for himself,and for his Mom's belief.,.

Second main reason,which i feel people resort to extreme steps is the fear of rejection of society.,. If you have been living under a flashy image and suddenly you feel that you are not able to live up to your image, the fear that people will shun you prompts people to do that. Again in this, its the "Expectation" which comes in.,. Also, its because people tend to forget that it is their image which in turn builds an image rather than their image building themselves. An instance which i can remember now, is about the Icon Steve Jobs,when he was thrown out from his own company, he found everything around him meaningless and he felt that living now is waste. Yet he got over that disappointment , by his belief in his abilities, and he was back again with a bigger bang !!

Same was the case of Lee Iacoca who was fired from the position of CEO by Henry Ford from Ford Motors, which left him in a poor shade in media. Yet he came back stronger by turning the fortunes of Chrysler. The history is full of stories of people who have failed,who have lost, yet they lived to tell their tales and create a legacy. The same legacy can be created by anyone who beliefs in himself. Hence i stress the point again that how the childrens are guided and mentored has an much wider impact on them later on.

I started this article with the intention of making people know about how their support and care can make a person belief in himself.,. I dont know if iam successful in my attempt,but i believe that proper Parental care and Love will ensure that the Child/individual copes up with any obstacles or disappointments and would in turn be a source of support and hope to others !! What i would like from those who read this article is, please spread the awareness of proper nurturing of children to everyone you know and also inculcate this in your lives too. :)
This will ensure that the future will be in the hands of Confident, Inspired Leaders , as Today's Children are Tomorrow's Citizens.

God Bless All.


ANWESA said...

vry important topic raised here,an insight into growing suicide tendencies n i totally agree wid all d words in d post..

descrying the shadows said...

firstly ... this is the third blog of yours i blog rolled .. u seem to stop posting on the ones i blogroll ;)
Reg. the post .. you are spot on .. I guess what this society needs is a wake up call .. and as far as tht girl u were hinting at .. well i feel her friend wud have refrained if only we were in a society where parents gave more importance to such feelings in their children rather than snubbing them away .. discuss and teach .. thts hw they learn .. its a different world now .. so much exposure .. we need tht the children need tht
make them mature dnt just think tht by shunning it u will end it ...

Gauri Mathur said...

very well expressed with some very relevant points.
Good work!
take care

Swats said...

Albert Einstein- wht a wonderful example! SUPERB..very apt to this post!

Whatever drives them to SUICIDE..

I guess the reasons range from sibling rivalry, sibling comparison, unrequited love, peer pressure, low self-esteem, zero self-belief, inferiority complex, good looks fixation, drug abuse, bad company, broken homes, financial issues to divorce and other failed relationships!

Young skool kids committing suicide by hanging themselves frm ceiling fans (due to parental pressure 2 outperform/sky high expectations of parents who themselves never lived their dreams n hence force it own their kids), young brides burning themselves, unstable PAGE 3 socialites living fake lives n ultimately succumbing to pressure (eg, Nafisa Joseph, KUlraj Randhawa, Parveen Babi)..instances galore!

Priya Joyce said...

hey a very nice point raised out there

yes very true these days the adolescents take such steps there can be many reasons to it.
yes depression ye its mainly due to the peer pressure these days and u see a lot of superficial needs hav been developed among the teens these days they have no depth in their thots and all everything at the surface level.
all this plays a part in it and parents earning well also put oil in the fire as they try to meet the needs with materialistic things rather than their presence.

i must say a well written post

RiverSoul said...

A topic that deserves More space.
Well written, Bro!
btw, You're Tagged!

Ravi Kumar said...

Yes very true. Taare zamein pe is waht parents of today's generation should see. :)

Nimmy said...

a topic very close to my heart, prashant. good job! :-) time well spent....! i too hope to be posting some things on this topic down the line... :-) Speaking of which, BTW, TZP moved me to the core!

$mit@ said...

hey thanks for ur comment! n as for ur blog...i think this post raises a lot of important issues! good job!

arvindj227 said...

Nice eye opening post da.. Good stuff.

Reflections said...

Totally relevant post.....
yes parental love & care can overcome 95% of the problems faced by kids.

Rajesh said...

Dude....selection of topic for a write-up is one thing...and in that way, this was such a beautiful topic...but that doesn't make an article interesting..a lot depends on how the writer portrays what he has in his mind...its abt his opinions....but that doesn't make him dogmatic....

This post was marvelous...mention of ppl like Einstein etc was too good...that reminded me of TZP....ur post was timely just when the whole of the country is glad to hear that TZP is India's official entry top the Oscars...Hope it wins... Kudos to Aamir and of course to u too for coming up wit such a lovely write-up

Shalom said...

Nicely written, as usual :)
You've been tagged!!!

Prashant Sree said...

@anwesa: Hey thanks for the concordance !! :) And for the comment..

@descrying the shadows :Yes, i agree with what you say, friend. Today's childrens need more than just money.,. I hope this blog of mine's will be perpetual. :)

@gauri mathur: Thanks for the appreciation.,.

@Swats:Hmmm, you have stated many reasons,.. Quite impressive. I assume you are qualified to be a child psychologist :).What you say is right, there are so many different dimensions to it that it would need an collective effort from everyone to fix it...Thanks for sharing your valuable feedback.

@priya:What you say is true..,. This brings the essence of how Parents raise their childrens... Thanks for your appreciations. :)

@riversoul: Thanks buddy !! Tagged.,. Goodness, what is it this time ;)

@ravi kumar:Yup, TZP s quite apt as a remedy in current situation.

@nimmy: Hey nimmy, I will be looking out for your post on this.,. TZP captured the essence well, Each Child is a star on his own ;)

@smita: Thanks Smita..,. Hope to have your continued viewership ;)

@arvindj227: Thanks buddy !!

@reflections: Yes friend.,. Childrens require Parents love to a major extent.. Just curious, how can we solve the remaining 5 % of the children's problem ??

@rajesh: Hey rajesh, thanks for such wonderful words., Yet comparing this write up to a mammoth achievement of Aamir's is very too-too much ;).,. yes, its a great thing that TZP has got nominated to Oscars again.,. Kudos to Aamir's tenacity and Hardwork !!

@shalom: Hey Thanks for the tag.,. Actually Iam kinda have a tagoo-phobia ;). Will do it soon :) Thanks for sharing your comments...

Swats said...

Child psychologist! LOL no way!
I can't handle my own life, my own problems hehe

Solitaire said...

Depression may happen to anyone irrespective of the love and support that exists in their life because often times depression is a neurological disorder. I only hope and pray that people do not succumb to the useless belief that seeking help from a psychologist is bull-shit and go get the help they need.

Hemanth Potluri said...

good topic to be discussed...tensions and frustration makes people lot of dipressed and try to leave problems by suicide..

i had some blues recently ....:(...but i am bac to noraml thanks to all my frnds :)...


Ayushi said...

*sighs*...its all in the mind...
Parents have to understand that their children are simply not living in the age tey were and hence may be facing many other issues.But again, maybe its not their fault completely you know, its difficult to do that. And neither is it the child's fault completely. If the child is left to find the solutions himself, then he may be hurt in other becomes a tough life but the understanding of nature will ltimately help greatly...
Children must be taught some very strong points about nature rather than pointless religion.
It's all about what you convince your primitive mind to believe

Thank you for raising this issue, its horrors are still in making and need to be nipped in the bud.

Rajesh said... comparioons...jus saying that u had timed it correctly with that nominations..

Both urs and TZP are exceptional in their own way...

Prashant Sree said...

@swats: Well i dunno if you are too humble or you dont want much publicity ?? ;)

@solitaire: What you say is true. Depression comes to everyone. Its just that how one faces it which determines how we come out unscathed.

@Hemanth: Glad to hear you are mature enough to work out your issues. They are good in a way coz they mould you and strengthen you. Keep Living !!

@Ayushi:Wise words, Its not only the job of the Parents or childrens, it has to be effort from both sides. There is a high need for the childrens to be empowered effectively !! I assume you have a healthy attitude !! You can be an agent for empowerment :)

Prashant Sree said...

Iam humbled for the 'exceptional' tag my friend. :) I could see some spark in you too.,. Work on to enliven that !!