Thursday, May 5, 2011

Am I with a right partner?

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?" The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author. Here's the answer. Every relationship has a cycle...In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything.


That's why it's called "falling" in love. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?"

And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown. The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. 


And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are predictable.
 
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you refuse to let GO!!

Source: Mail. Thanks Preeti for sharing this. And Happy Bday to you. :)

10 comments:

Destination Infinity said...

There are a lot of couples who refuse to acknowledge that relationship is a cycle - They want to be happy always. Quite kiddish! Nice article. Most of the people who leave a partner for a better one secretly rue their decision soon after.

Destination Infinity

Aragorn said...

@DI: Insightful comment. Not to intrude but curious to know if your wisdom was gained from personal experiences ? ;)

Anonymous said...

oye..its incomplete..finish it..wht r the ways to rejuvenate a relationship?

Aragorn said...

@Anon: Oye, that's for an another day. Otherwise if you want the answers quickly, mail me ;)

Ashwathy said...

Brilliant stuff!! Can I pls borrow your quote and use it? :-)

Aragorn said...

@Ashwathy: By all means. :)

Pree said...

Thanks Prashant :)
.. I feel any relation (friendship, husband wife, bro - sis) to grow/strengthen needs time, energy and most importantly Effort to make it work and stand strong!!..

Aragorn said...

@Pree: yw :) Very rightly said that any relationship needs effort and energy from both sides to make it work rightly...!

The Illuminator said...

Sustaining love is the key. Being transparent in communication, reasonable in argument and trusting the other to do the right thing are crucial, according to me. And, there are a lucky few who are not swept off their feet when they fall in love. ;)

Mystic ray said...

are yaar ...u dont step into a relationship... thinking it would work out or not ...as philosophy goes.....we are all connected in some form or the other.....we think others cant rule our life ....my life is my life ........but actually it does not happen.....We are humans ...:) ..