Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Because Husbands were once Bachelors too

Before any of you let your imagination go flying let me state upfront that this post has (mostly)nothing to do with the Husband and concerns itself with the Wife's role to a large extent. I had intended to have the title of this post as "Kyooki Husbands bhi Kabhi Bachelors thee".But then for universal understanding,i decided to stick by English title ! This post intends to analyze the situation of boys after his marriage when he dons the role of Husband !

Two of my good friends have got engaged this month. Few days back , they were relating the Engagement experiences and sharing the photos of their fiances.On talking about their fiances,their answers were like this "Avan, Software company le work pannuran" (He works in a Software company), "Avan rombe sadhu type" (He is of a calm demeanor) etc. For people unaccustomed to Indian traditions, they must understand 2 words before we proceed further. "Avan" and "Avange".



Both denotes "He" in English but the degree of respect varies in both. 'Avange' is used to imply that we consider the person with respect (explicitly conveyed in the words).It doesn't mean that 'Avan' shows lack of respect yet 'Avan' is used on a informal level and the lack of respect can be explicitly seen. I presume that you would be scratching your heads over 'Avan' and 'Avange' so to make Matters simple,'Avange' shows respect and 'Avan' doesn't when using it in sentence.

You might be wondering why Am I probing this matter over two words which differ by two letters 'ge'. If you consider the yesteryear's generation,say our grandparents/parents generation, the respect the women had for their husbands was explicitly shown in the way they addressed their husbands. Those times the women considered their better half to be equivalent to God. Contrast that with today's scenario when some women not even consider their better half to be half better than them ;D. (Not that I regret that this change has occurred). Today many women consider their hubbies to be equivalent to friends. This change implies the growing confidence of the women folks which is good for everyone.

On a funnier note,what inspired this post is the pitiable situation of the men folks.We all know that Man was expected to work and earn income for the family. Excluding a few men who were in higher strata,the others belonged to the middle or lower working class. They either worked under someone for a wage or carried out the instructions under the supervision of someone. So mostly Home was the only place where he could expect 100% respect for him from his wife. I assume this gave him the courage and patience to endure the hardship at work and go on earning for the family. Contrast that with today's situation where Home would be the place where he least expects to get respect !!! Even his peers might respect him but that would vanish as soon as he enters his home. Say few years back the girls used to address her fiances as "Avange" which over a period of time changed to "Avan".But in the current fast paced life, it starts with 'Avan' itself !!! ;) Whereas for women the above scenario works in reverse manner. (Home is the place where they have guaranteed 120% respect,the situation at work place might differ)



Another point which i noted was that in most of the engagement photos,the girl would be flashing the brightest smile (Yes, the MENTOS smile with brightness of 105%) and the guy would be flashing a feeble smile (say, brightness of zero watt bulb). I assume both must be thinking about their future. The Guy who had been a free bird till now imagines himself as a caged bird. And the girl who has been waiting to catch hold of someone who can listen to her endless talks and who can take over the role of her paying her shopping invoices has finally found that person. In a conversation i had with my friends, it seems an interesting trend is been observed in IT industry. People who are bachelors generally work late and now there is a new genre joining them for company. Any guesses who ???

They are the people who have been married for an year or so. It so happens that once a guy gets married he starts for home immediately as soon as the clock strikes 6. This goes on for say 4-6 months after which the tireless talks and the unstoppable shopping takes the toll on him and he prefers the safe haven of the company for an extended extra time of 1-2 hours.

Considering all the facts,it seems that the current generation might mark the new era for the women. Not only are they going to get the 33% reservation in Parliament in India (which seems very viable in the current government period), the trends points that a day may come when Men would have to fight for their rights and ask for reservation in Parliament... [One thing which puzzles me is the fact that how the Women Bill hasn't yet been rectified and passed by the politicians taking into account the fact that many are married !!!]



P.S: The post was meant purely as a funny one and does not intend to undermine the women role in the family in anyway. Women are equal to men in every aspect(barring a few) and completes him. The current scenario where both the man and woman take equal responsibility of running the family and are in a equal footing is good for the family,society and the Nation as well. I also take this chance to wish my two friends a very Happy and a Prosperous future life with their hubbies !

15 comments:

Insignia said...

Its funny!

Would like add a point w.r.t to "Avan" and Avange".

As a lady, I thought I could relate more on this. Addressing your better-half as "avan" is a way of expressing love and its special and reserved only for her better-half :-)

So the men folks need not shudder thinking that he isn't commanding respect at home but must be happy that he is commanding love from his wife.

Earlier, women folks wouldn't even utter their husband's name. That was not due to respect but due to the fear imbibed due to tradition and culture and other rules.

Now that women can openly flaunt their feelings and address her husband in a way she feels closer to him. :-)

That is a big leap

BK Chowla said...

Husband was also a son till the mother lost him to her daughter -in law.
On a funny note...a friend of mine says...Hamare Ghar Mein Aadmi Tab Hi Moohn Khote Hain Jab Khana Khana Ho.

Prashant Sree said...

@Insignia: I agree with that point. The informality suggest the more closer feeling to their husbands. But you cant justify the deprivation of respect the men used to get before. ;)

Prashant Sree said...

@BK Chowla: Indeed Sir. I also remember a saying from a Hindi movie "Shaadi hooyi tho Barbadi hooyi" !! Not sure to what extent this is true !!! :P

Priya Joyce said...

If u see the reality it's woman who suffer mostly...

seriously spkin.

we rarely find couples who hav equality at their homes..either women or men dominate....

well ths basically arises coz..everyone gets a kick out of controlling others.....

and control in not always by pressure....and power...

:)

wishes for ur frnds who're getin married :)

♥ÐÅyÐяєÅмє®♥ said...

lol

a funny post indeed :P


:D

Insignia said...

:-) There's a trade-off, as everywhere else. The more informal means to gesture love, lesser the "respect"

Reflections said...

Underneath the humour there is more than a grain of truth.

And I dont really believe Men & Women are equal. They each have different roles to fulfill in life. If they have the foresight they'll cut the "who's better than who & who's earning more" thoughts out & concentrate on fulfilling their respective duties to the best of their abilities.
Example, Woman have the ability to give birth & men have superior strength. Use these gifts for the betterment of their little world instead of using it against eachother.

I have friends who say "Just shaddap ya" to their husbands, jokingly ofcourse but I dont find it funny at all.

I respect my husband & can never ever think of talking tht way to him but the best part of it that my husband treats me with utmost respect which makes me want to try harder.

Avan & avange are simple stuff but there is a lot of depth there. My mother always serves my father's tea in a tray & we kids used to find it funny tht she was being so formal. But now I find it really touching.

Giving respect never hurts, not just with our counterparts even with children.

And finally...
Prashanth....its a great post!!!!!!

Creativity!! said...

Funny!! Good Post.

Prashant Sree said...

@Priya: Well, i have seen men who are hen-pecked husbands. But yes, the situation is such that Women had to suffer on a larger scale in past. Though things are changing.

Prashant Sree said...

@DayDreame: Thanks Dude. Visit often.

Prashant Sree said...

@Insignia: Hmmm, Thats what i call being wordly wise ;)

Prashant Sree said...

@Reflections: I wonder why there isnt anyone called Maata Reflections. Just kidding... Yet on a serious note, every word you have said reverberates with truth and wisdom. Indeed your reflections makes a lot of sense. Kudos !

Prashant Sree said...

@Creativity: Thanks... Keep coming !!

Renu said...

Nancy has echoes my thoughts:) exactly the same I thin...this equality bussiness has already done a lot of harm to our society fabric, we must stop this before it does more destruction.