The True Gateway of India !!

I had posted a new post in another of my Blogs. "The Gateway of India" . I would appreciate it if you can spend some time reading it and sharing your views and comments.

Here is the link to the post:
http://our-gateway-to-india.blogspot.com/2008/12/gateway-of-india.html

Thank You

You dont have to be only a cat,to drink Milk

After contemplating for hours what could be the title of the blog post, i settled on the one above "You dont have to be only a cat,to drink Milk". To know why i choosed to write on this topic, let me narrate an episode which i saw in the TV and which left me very surprised about people's attitude in the society.

The episode was "Neeya Naana"(Is it You or Me) in Vijay TV(a regional channel in Tamil Nadu),and the topic of discussion on that day was between Professors and Students in college. If it was the inability of the Professors due to which Students dont concentrate in the class,which translates to poor performance or is it the inherent mindset of the student to be indisciplined in the class which results in his poorer performance. The debate went on for some time with both sides blaming each other and subsequently the moderator(Show Host) bringing out the main,relevant points. Then there were 2 judges whose expert opinion was asked. Initially the Professors were asked what kind of books do they read. And the majority had said that they read self-help books. Based on this one judge commented that since many Professors read self-help books,its obvious that they are in dearth of self-motivation, and are low on self-confidence and that it represents a lack of inner ability. This could be only as true as the fact that the Earth is flat...

To see that a person who is qualified to be in a Judge position has views like that was really heartening... Its equivalent to saying that only Mentally ill people should consult psychiatrist and only obese people go to Gym. If only people low on self-confidence read self-help books, then it would mean all the Great Leaders Mahatma Gandhi,Nelson Mandela, famous personalities like Anthony Robbins,Shiv Khera,Brain Tracy,Dale Carnegie were low on self confidence. They read such books not only to leverage their strengths but also to know more on what the great thinkers had to say about developing a Human personality.

My point to write this post was not to compare people who have read self help books and to prove the point otherwise. My concern is the fact that as long as people continue to hold such views, the broadening of the human's attitude in society will not take place. I read in somebody's blog that the AIDS is more prevalent in India due to homosexuality. But since it is illegal in India,people are afraid to disclose their sexuality(Not that I vouch for homosexuality to be encouraged, but it's just a matter of an individual's right and choice) and hence fighting AIDS becomes more difficult.

Also, same goes with the attitude with the Psychiatrist where we(Indians) believe that one should visit a Psychiatrist only when one is affected with mental illness. Not necessarily. A Well,Qualified Psychiatrist can also help someone to gauge his emotional well being and take measures to accordingly bring balance in one's life... I would just like to say that we all know that our attitudes determine what we do and what we believe in.

In this so called Modern,Fast growing world , dressing modernly or talking modernly wont make a difference unless we began to think modernly.(Holistic Broadened). Because some people have such limiting attitudes, it makes
others to limit themself from openly discussing their problems,due to which they lead their life along with their problems. Imagine if people began to think that only people low on self-motivation need to read self-help books, i can imagine a
time when no one will read self-help books just to showcase himself as a person with self motivation(though inside it will be a different story itself). Hence,You dont have to be only a CAT so to drink Milk. There might be others too !!

P.S: This is a significant post for this blog, hence i would like to thank all the near,dear ones who i have met in the Blogosphere, my faithful readers and commentators and also those who encouraged me to start blogging.My sincere heart-felt thanks to you all.

Ghost of an Early Arranged Marriage - A Documentary Film

The CED(Centre of Education and Documentation) had screened a documentary named "Remembrance of Things Present" directed by Chandra Siddan. The documentary movie is about the story of young girl who is married off at an early age(16 yrs) , who then divorces her first husband and then goes abroad and re-settles again. The film goes about showing how the girl (now a lady) comes back to India, to her family and copes up with the past. How her family reacts to her new life and her accusations of ruining her life by marrying her at an early stage. I have divided the post into 3 segments. In the first segment i have said what the movie was about, in the second segment i have said the reactions of the protagonist's parents about marrying her at an young age and finally my own views and opinions about the parenting role in a child's life.

The film starts with the protagonist(Sudha) coming to India after 4 years, after having married a second time to a person who she meets while studying abroad. She is anxious and knows she has a lot of things to discuss with her parents and her daughter,Shruti, who she had left back in India before going abroad. Her brother Ravi had married and now they have a daughter 1 yr old. She is happy to see that her family has accepted her without making a much issue about her second marriage. Yet she is unable to forgive her parents for ruining her life by marrying off her at an young age. She recounts her childhood days about how happy she was and how promising her future looked to be. Her parents who were first generation urban dwellers had a modern outlook. She had studied in a convent and always stood first in her class.

Just when all things looked promising she got engaged to a guy 10 years older than her(She was 13 when she got engaged). She couldnt believe that her father who she thought had a modern outlook couldnt know that it was wrong to marry her daughter at an young age.. After 2 and half years she gets married to the guy who is a lecturer in a academia.,.They move to an isolated government quarters where there is no one to mingle with. Her husband,Ishwar is not strict and encourages to continue her studies. She does her bachelors through distant learning, but still feels she missed out important part of her life... The only friends to her during that times was her love for literature which she had cultivated in her school time.

She confronts her mother about marrying her off at an early stage. Her mother could only give excuses and justify their reasons for marrying her off. Her mother tells that she(Sudha) didnt object when she was engaged. Sudha tells her that she didnt know what it was all about because she was too young to know about all these and she couldnt object because she wouldnt be listened to anyway. She recalls how her mother had told her that "You dont ask a chicken's permission before cooking it". Then she discusses with her father about his reasons.he says he did what he believed was best for her. They had got a good match and they thought it would do her good. She tells him that she had her own aspirations but he ruined it by marrying her at an early stage. He tells him not to discuss more of it, and he did it only because he thought it was right. A funny thing to note her is that Sudha makes a note of her friend Hema who had gone on to do her medicines. Her father tells her that Hema's father passed away because of worries about his daughter's marriage.

The interesting thing to note her was how her parents defended their decision.,. And it also showed how much a child has his/her own emotions and feelings. Very few parents understand that and encourage their childrens to take decision about his /her life. Most parents are of the opinion that what they do is best for their child and the child has to do what she/he is told to do. Nothing wrong in that, except that if the child is involved in her life-decision making process, neither the child or the parents have to whine and blame each other later on in life. Also,i wont advocate allowing the child to have complete freedom in choosing her/his life. (which is most prevalent nowadays in our society). There has to be a balance between to the extent a parent can decide for a child(after a certain age)and what role parents play in that. I had read somewhere in which a gentlemen had told about Parenting that the role of a Parent is to inculcate and install a character and principles in their children and then allow the child to do what he/she thinks is right or wrong.

The important thing here is to make the child realize that he is responsible for his life and that he must face the consequences of it. This will ensure that the child learns over a period of time whats best for him and evolves accordingly. Too much of rules and conditions may make the child defensive and too much of freedom may also ruin a child. Blessed are those childrens whose Parents know when to call it off and when to impose.,.

We know a todays children are tomorrows citizens.,. The role of moulding a country begins with moulding the children who make up its components..And Parents who knows this and takes care in doing so contribute a lot towards the society. :)

P.S: I know that i started with a documentary movie and then switched tracks to about how Parenting should be. My purpose in this was to show how Parents treat a child during its initial years will decide to a large extent on what the child becomes later on... The movie description was to showcase an instance in which a rash decision by the parents ruined their daughter's life (even though she was happy now after resettling), she is unable to forgive or pardon her parents about what they did early on. Hence, my point was to stress on the fact that every child has his/her own feelings and when parents start respecting it, start involving the child in the decision process, the Child will grow out to be a mature,responsible citizen.

A New Dawn Awaits us !!

In times of crisis and negativity, how does one ensure he remains unaffected.,. Our heart feels out to make a change in the society. But we feel helpless about being unable to do anything... We couldn't be more mistaken.

Here's a wonderful article by Zeph, in which he has shared the inner power which is inherent in every individual, the factors governing our attitude and how in turn we can use it to live our life harmoniously and also help others live their best. You can check the article @

http://global-thought.blogspot.com/2008/11/new-mind.html

If each one of us learns this truth and accordingly start living a new life,

A New Age ,

A New Beginning

A New Dawn will arise !!

OM.

All Words and No action will make Us a Clown

UPDATE: Sry friends, had attached a wrong link. The correct link is here:
http://meintreatise.blogspot.com/2008/12/stop-cribbing-and-start-living.html

There is a quote: "All Work and No play makes Jack a dull boy". In the aftermath of the Mumbai terror attacks i wonder if all Words and No action will make Us a clown...

Agreed that our pent up anger is being vented against the Govt, the corrupt politicians, careless security officials etc etc etc... And what has happened has happened. It wont serve us well if we keep babbling the same accusations forever. Something has to happen. And that thing will not be achieved by giving petitions to govt, forwarding signature campaigns etc. It has to begin with our self.

Came across a post by a 16 year young girl whose take on the current happenings not only provided a glimpse in to the the current situation but also provided an ideal,impossible solution...
Check it here..

http://musingsofoso.blogspot.com/2008/12/stop-cribbing-and-start-living.html

It will be worth your time and energy !!

Learnings from the CXO's

The "Meet the CXO's" event organized by the RECAL, Bangalore group was a huge Success !! Not only in terms of participation by Alumni's spread over different batches, but also due to the presence of over 20 CXO's...!!! Apart from the usual netowrking opportunity which such an event presents, we also had few learnings and insights on how the CXO's think ! I would keep the details of the meet to minimum with more focus on the learnings from the CXO's. The event started by 6:45 with a well gathered Alumni strength of 70 members.

Rajan Narayanan(President of RECAL, Bang Chapter) welcomed the audience and gave a brief opening speech. Then he invited Mr.Ramesh who was the Moderator of the Event. After briefly introducing himself Ramesh invited the Panel members to the stage.

Rajan welcoming the Alumni members

The Panel members were:

1)Mr.Praveen -President Intel India,
2) Mr.Chandramouli - Makino,
3) Mr.Ravi - Mercuri Goldman,
4)Mrs.Jessie Paul - Wipro CMO and
5)Mr.Raj Rajkumar-MD,ADC India.

The panel (From left to right) Praveen,Chandramouli,Ramesh(Moderator),Ravi,Jessie,Rajkumar

Apart from the 5 panelists, there were over 20 prominent CXO's among the audience... Quite a cluster of stars !!

The Moderator after asking the Panelist to introduce themselves threw the first question at the Panel.. To what extent did the college life play a role in the shaping their career. I dont remember the exact words said by the Panelists, yet the most iterated and agreed view was that College helped them learn to be independent and taught them what their passion and strength was... If one wants to understand what his strengths are,just assess what things did you really liked doing in college days and on what productive things you spend most of your time.. You will understand what had been your strengths....

The second question put forth was "The important learnings which one experienced in their corporate life". Mr.Praveen was of the view that one doesn't go after a title but after what he likes doing... Its not like you say" I want to be a CEO or a CFO or a COO" and then go and become it.. Its more like you do what you really like, give it all your shot. Money is a byproduct not the main fuel runs you.

Mr.ChandraMouli had to say this: In life one sees both Sunset and Sunrise... Most of us eagerly anticipate for the Sunrise that we forget that the SunSet also teaches us important lessons...

Mr.Ravi had an important thing to share about Business. He said its important to "Build relations out of business and not BUSINESS OUT OF RELATIONS" !!

Mrs.Jessie Paul stressed on the importance of showcasing your talents... Having talents is not a big deal,knowing how to market it is what matters.

Mr.Rajkumar shared the importance of learning's during your bad times and to know how to choose your battle fields.. As much as you learn from a Good boss, a supposedly Bad boss can teach you a lot... According to him, a constant look out for new challenges and stretching out will help you in the long run in learning new things...

After some more discussions, the Panel opened up to the audience for the Q & A session... I dont remember much of the questions, but here are some of the ones which i remember. One question was about the current scenario in which Most of the younger generation seems to have lesser inclination to venture out and take the risk... Will we be seeing a reversal of the scenario and what could be done to encourage the Entrepreneurial spirit. The CXO's were of the opinion that When you get a hefty pay packages , there is little incentive to go out and start something on your own... Its more about your inherent passion to do things,rather than doing something just because of some gain...

Then there was a question of the how to deal with opportunity cost when one chooses to start a business after 10 - 12 years... The answer was about following one's heart and be true to yourself. If the idea really excites yourself ,you will know when to start... And when your passion is for real, you wont think of other factors.You just take the leap and then figure out how to turn things around.

There was another question of "Things not to be done, if you want to become a CXO". The panel had different opinions to that. Few points said were:

• Follow your heart. Dont go by the title. Dont do something because the monetary benefits are high. Do what you really like doing

• Ask when you need help. Most people don't ask and hence don't receive.

• Always ensure your learning curve goes on. A CXO has to be updated with the latest happening around himself.
  

• Its all your attitude.. If you think you can, you WILL...

(From left to right) Murli,Praveen,Chandramouli,Ramesh,Rajan,Ravi,Jessie,Rajkumar

That was a brief summary of the Event happenings along with the Learnings from the Panel.Then the group broke for dinner with people interacting with one another....Overall, it was a memorable event which not only provided Gyaan and Fun but also gave us some insights into the minds of the CXO's. To summarise the learnings, Chris Corrigan said it right:

I think the most important CEO task is defining the course that the business will take over the next five or so years. You have to have the ability to see what the business environment might be like a long way out, not just over the coming months. You need to be able to both set a broad direction, and also to take particular decisions along the way that make that broad direction unfold correctly.

P.S: Kudos to Rajan,Ganapathy,Mahesh,Ajay and other Organizers for arranging such a meet...

Reduce the stigma around HIV/AIDS !!

Today is World's AIDS Day. Blogger Unite have taken the initiative to spread awareness prevent and stop the spread of HIV/AIDS by using the power of bloggers !! This year’s theme is leadership – from all sectors, including government, but also leaders among individuals and families, communities, non-profits and other organizations.

An estimated 33 million people are supposedly infected by AIDS. Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) is caused by HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus). By killing or damaging cells of the body's immune system, HIV progressively destroys the body's ability to fight infections and certain cancers.Effective HIV care—including antiretroviral drug therapies and regular access to primary health care—can help people manage their HIV disease and live longer.

Once HIV enters the body, the body starts to produce antibodies - substances the immune system creates after infection. Most HIV tests look for these antibodies rather than the virus itself. There are many different kinds of HIV tests, including rapid tests and home test kits. All HIV tests approved by the US government are very good at finding HIV. For information on approved HIV tests view HIV Testing (Food and Drug Administration).

HIV and AIDS are life threatening conditions. There is no cure yet for HIV/AIDS. The transmission of HIV occurs through three well documented means: 1) having sex (anal, vaginal, or oral) with someone infected with HIV; 2) sharing needles and syringes with someone infected with HIV; and 3) being exposed (fetus or infant) to HIV before or during birth or through breast feeding. HIV transmission can be prevented through avoiding behaviors that expose someone to the means of transmission and by taking preventive measures if identified risk behaviors occur.

To protect yourself, do not inject illicit drugs and remember these ABCs:

• A=Abstinence
• B=Be Faithful
• C=Condoms

HIV is not transmitted through day-to-day activities such as shaking hands, hugging, or a casual kiss. You cannot become infected from a toilet seat, drinking fountain, doorknob, dishes, drinking glasses, food, or pets. You also cannot get HIV from mosquitoes. HIV testing is a key component in controlling the spread of HIV infection. For those who test positive for HIV, awareness can help them take steps to protect their own health and that of their partners - thus avoiding further transmission.For those testing negative, the testing process is an opportunity to get informed and take action to avoid risks and stay uninfected.

Everyone should know their HIV status, and the only way to know is to get tested for HIV. While there are symptoms of HIV, those systems are also associated with other types of illness. Because some behaviors increase individual risk for HIV infection, and if you continue these behaviors, you should be tested regularly. It is also recommended that all women who are pregnant or are planning on becoming pregnant should be tested for HIV.

Lets join hands together in combating this social maniac and commit ourself in making the World free of AIDS...