'MEET THE CXO' EVENT:

What does it takes to climb a corporate ladder... What it requires to be on the top... What kinda responsibilites and pressures does one have to cope up when you are the Chief of a company... Iam sure that the above questions will be of interest to any managerial student and anyone who is pursuing/who wants to pursue a Managerial course in the corporate world... And how about the Chief's themselves answering the above questions and sharing their life experiences... Isnt it exciting ?? You bet , it is...

RECAL-Bang is back with one of its another utilitarian event.. The event is "Meet the CXO", where over a glittering array of 20 CXO's come together to unwind and share their gyaan with the RECAL members... The Event is scheduled on 29th November 2008, Saturday @ Indira Nagar Club.The panel discussion will be followed by a networking dinner..

Check this link for directions to the venue:

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=115086096119505810360.00045b9fe8d4ce130d573

Iam quite excited and eagerly look forward to the event !! Will share the gyaans with you folks..

Drop in later to check how the event went about and the gems which we got to learn... :)

My Tribute to the Officers:

The ugly face of the terror has struck its face again...Only that it has come back more heinous,gruesome and more immoral.... Amidst the chaos which the terror mastermind's have inflicted on the financial capital, the light has shown its side through the officers and jawans involved in the rescue mission. Some have died while performing their duty... The heroes like Maharashtra Anti-Terrorism Squad chief Hemant Karkare, Additional Commissioner Ashok Kamte and encounter specialist Vijay Salaskar and 8 police officials have been killed fighting the terrorists on Wednesday night.... My sincere heart felt tributes to the IPS officers, Commando personnels and other Jawans involved in the rescue process...

One cannot completely pay homage to these brave,inspirational people just through words... God Bless their soul and let their families be given enough strength and courage so as to return to normalcy again.

The other irony out here is that when Anti-Terrorism Squad chief Hemant Karkare was incharge of investigating the September 29 blast in Malegaon... And when he was close to solving the probe, many prominent leaders (aligned with the people charged in the Bomb blast) condemned him and made allegations against him.. One just wonders how honest and upright people can survive in this so called politically infested work ?? Now that Hemant Karkare is no more, the same leaders will heap appreciations and accolades at him.. Whats the use when he wasnt allowed to perform his duty when he wanted to.

Did someone say Life is unfair !

P.S: May God bless the souls of people who have died in the serial bomb blast. May their soul rest in peace.

Dad speaks, Simi listens and Life just goes on!

Most of us have numerous thoughts,views about Love marriage Vs the Arranged Marriage... This one , i had got as a mail forward... Dunno who had blogged this, but it is definitely worth reading.,.


"Karthik, dinner's ready." My mom called out while I was listening to My Sacrifice by Creed on Radio City. She came near and in a low voice said, "I told your dad about it." I felt like a 10,000 volt stupor hit me! "What?" I was flabbergasted, "Ma, I wanted to tell him myself. I had it all planned out. You've just...god! You women kind can never keep secrets, can you? Ok, what did he say?" I asked anxiously. "He said nothing. Probably he wouldn't even talk to you about it until you start." I knew it was going to be a bad night. Heated arguments, sentimental issues, guilt pricking and unwanted tensions; we had had none of these in our house. But I saw it all coming down in one night.


At the dinner table :
It took me sometime to come out of my bedroom, for the dinner table seemed like a battle ground to me! My hunger died with the very thought of talking to my dad. But I knew I couldn't escape it and I had to face this some day or the other. My dad sat next to me. I gulped the air that was stuck in my throat and with head bent down I had my eyes fixed on my plate. Even after five minutes, daddy spoke nothing! So I gathered up all my courage to break the ice, "Appa, I wanted to tell it myself. I was actually..." "What's her name?" he cut me without looking at my face. "Simi" I answered, "Simi Jacob Thomas." There was a smile on his face. "Bring her home tomorrow evening", he said. It made me smile too, for I felt glad to hear something like that while I expected a huge argument to spurt out. None of us spoke anything else that night. It turned out to be a total anti-climax of what I had imagined! I got back to my room after dinner, but couldn't sleep for most part of the night since I was dreaming with open eyes about the day that was to come the next morning!


The day did come :
The day did come; probably one of the most important days of my life. I told Simi that my dad wanted to meet her and also that he wasn't fussed up or anything like that and instead smiled about it. Simi didn't know what to tell, she too was very happy I thought. A year and a half of our secret relationship, a secret known to the world but hidden to our parents, was about to pay off. So, on that day, we just didn't care about whether we had completed our work or not. We left office at 4.30 in the evening, just to make sure that we don't get stuck in that dreaded Hosur road traffic. Simi left her car parked in the office itself and we both went in my car. That wasn't the first time I had driven with Simi in my Honda City, but somehow, all along the way home, my dreaming about the car being decorated with flowers and a big "Just Married" sign on a heart shaped board, made that ride very special to me!

We reached home by quarter past five. Summer time; my dad was sitting on the swing in the lawn, reading a newspaper. He got up as he saw us coming. "Namaste Uncle", Simi said folding her hands. My dad smiled back. "Hello, nice to meet you", he greeted her, "come, let's go inside", he took us in. My mom was watching tv in the hall and as we entered she got up from the sofa and switched off the tv. "Get something", my dad said to my mom and within minutes a lot of things were ready on the tea table. "Please have it" my dad said and we both started munching. "Aunty, I really like this. Kaduburight? Karthik gives me every time you send it in his lunch box. In fact, I've eaten almost every dish that you cook. You really cook very nicely aunty." Simi said looking at my mom. My mom just smiled back as a thank youto Simi's compliments.


Setting the stage:

"Sorry child, I forgot your name." My dad said. Simi was busy eating, but she'd heard it. "Uh? Uncle? Simi. My name is Simi", she replied. "Aaah! Simi Jacob Thomas, right?" My dad asked. "Yes", Simi replied and looked at my face with her eyebrows slightly raised. I did nothing else but show my teeth. There was a wide smile on my dad's face too. "What?" I asked him. "Karthik Subramanya Shastry weds Simi Jacob Thomas, somehow sounds very funny to me", he said. The smile on my face slowly reduced in width and finally when I saw the expression on Simi's face change as she took a bite of the kadubu, my smile completely died out. My dad was quick to react. He looked at Simi and said, "Oh please don't feel offended. I don't mean to hurt you. But child, I'm going to ask you a few questions and also tell you some things over which you'll need to think calmly." Uh oh! Something's coming! I told myself. Simi seemed to have heard what I'd just said in silence. She kept the half bitten kadubu back on the plate.


The talk:
"Simi. Since how long do you know Karthik?" My dad started shooting. "About a year and a half" Simi replied. "Do you think that's enough to know him?" "I guess so. Yes. That's quite enough." Simi nodded her head up and down. "Hmm...Tell me one thing, do your parents know about this?" "No uncle. I was about to tell them; after we took your permission." "And how did you assume that I will say 'yes'?" My dad was still smiling. But the expression on our faces had taken a U-turn from extreme bliss to total awe by now! Although both of us knew that we would have to face our parents' opposition, the way my dad had reacted since the night before had sprung up some positive thoughts in both of us. So this was a bit of a shock indeed.

"Simi, Simi. My dear child. I know most of what I tell you will make you feel like not listening to me. I just want you both to have the best and I know very well that it will not be so if you happen to marry." Our faces now looked like the sad emoticon that we use in our Office Communicator. But my dad continued :-( "Where do your parents stay?" "Kozhikode, Kerala." "What does your father do?" "He retired as a Branch Manager in SBI last month. Now he serves as an evangelist at a church nearby". "How many siblings do you have?" "We are four. I have a brother and two sisters." "You must be the youngest", my dad was bang on! "Yes", Simi replied, a little surprised. I knew, like me, she too wanted to know how on earth he got that! "I pity your poor dad. He seems to be a pious man. If I, being the father of the boy, feel so sad about this whole thing, I can imagine how much pain that man will go through." My dad let out a long sigh.


Somehow the things he spoke started to get on my nerves and I thought I had to do some talking. "What's wrong with this dad? I don't understand why you people should be worried. Simi and I like each other, we understand each other very well, we both have good jobs in hand, what else do we need?" "I was waiting for you to open your mouth", my dad said in a sarcastic tone. "See. You are talking only about you both; that you like each other, that you have good jobs. Then, tell me honestly, when you have decided about everything, why do you need my permission, or even her parents' permission? You can as well marry and later just inform us, right? If you feel that you will anyways go ahead no matter what, then I see no point in discussing this anymore." My dad stood up. "No uncle", Simi interrupted, "I want to listen to you." I looked at Simi with an evident frown on my face. "Please, let us talk about it. I too want to know what you feel about this." She requested my dad. But I wasn't keen on listening. I just sat with my face turned away, staring at the door. My dad sat down.

"Simi, marriage is not a child's play dear. At least in our society, it's not centered just around two people. If you had, for at least once, thought practically about your relationship, you wouldn't have carried it so far. You both are in love and that will make you think you can get along anything that comes your way. Child, married life in itself has thousand and one problems. You have to make sure that you don't invite more problems just by taking a hasty decision. "The first thing is, I'm more than a hundred percent sure that your family will not whole heartedly accept my son as their son-in-law and after this marriage, believe me, your relationship with your parents and siblings will never be the same. Even if they come to accept it at a later point of time, they will just be pretending. Some relationships if broken, take a long time to patch up and if they had been very close, it takes a lifetime. Coming out of home and living a life of your own sounds very good like in movies and stories, but the truth is, you cannot stay away from your parents forever; at least not until they are alive."

Simi was listening without blinking her eyes. "After that, come your individual dogmas. You know, his mother celebrates at home, almost every festival that's listed on the almanac. She will feel uncomfortable to let you around and get you involved. Even if she and you get along after sometime, I will guarantee, it will be limited to our house alone. You will never be invited to any function that will happen in our relatives' homes. At first, you might feel ok about it. But when Karthik will feel the pinch in his heart to know the fact that his wife is not welcomed in his relatives' places and because of that he too cannot attend those so very fun filled family gatherings that he was always a part of, he too will start to repent. "

Then there are your food habits. You are a meat eater and my son is a pure vegetarian, well at least I think so. But I don't know if he has started that too." Simi was already feeling guilty I guess. "No, he doesn't eat. But I have stopped", she said. "See. You have lost a part of yourself. You know, for your love to carry on with the same fervor forever, you should accept the person you love as he or she is, without being directly or indirectly forced to change for the sake of love. In my opinion, that's true love and everything else is just a compromise. You have given up eating meat, good; but every time you come across that, you'll always be tempted. It's perfectly ok and it's because you have been brought up in such a culture where it is almost compulsory to eat meat, whereas my son has grown up amongst people who dislike even the sight and smell of it. "

And then, you both are connected by English, a language that's not the mother tongue of either of you. I am not telling it's a bad language, but you know, it is always the mother tongue that gives you the personal touch, the closer-to-heart feeling while you talk to your, be it husband or any other person. Don't tell me that love knows no language; it is all theory and is only good for the books. The day you see a couple in love talking in your language and having those sweet little verbal fights or name-calling, in words that you can best express only in a language that is closer to your heart, you will know what you are missing. Simi was static. "Next thing is about your kids. My mother used to tell me a proverb in Kannada - Appa amma eradu daari aadare, makkaLu naaku daari anthe, meaning If the father and mother go in two directions, their children will go in four. I don't know if I've put it correctly in English but I hope you've understood it. Forget your kids, you yourself will not be able to tell them whether they have to go to the church or the temple, to be a vegetarian or a non-vegetarian, to speak Malayalam or Kannada and many such things. Finally they end up growing in a big confusion about their language, their God, their culture and everything about themselves. They might even someday curse you for landing them in such a situation. You might say that they will choose the best of both cultures. But that can happen only after they have matured enough to take decisions on their own. But again, I bet they will not be able to do that too since they wouldn't have gained a complete understanding of either of those.

"Deep down inside, you feel that you are doing something wrong and that's what has kept you from telling your parents or else you would have told it on day one that you like this guy and might as well marry him. But you feel your parents might be hurt if you do that because you know very well that they can never see him as the right guy for you and from my point of view too, he's not. Trust me, even your parents wouldn't deny if you can prove it to them that he is the right person, but in this case, you'll not be able to do that! I just guessed that you must be the youngest because if you had somebody younger to you, a sense of guilt which makes you feel that you might just be setting a bad example to the younger ones, would have stopped you from thinking about Karthik as your life partner. But again good and bad depends entirely on your perspective and for youngsters like you, it is mostly influenced by your friends outside rather than the people at home.
Looks like he's not gonna stop until she walks out, I thought, still looking away. I did not interrupt only because Simi had stopped me from it. You asked for it Simi. Now you have it. I wasn't anymore interested in disturbing her. "I too feel that I've slipped somewhere. If only I had talked about all such things to my son a long time back, he would have been more careful in choosing his life partner. But I never realized that he had grown up so much and today I feel I'm paying for my mistake. You know, you should make your children do what you feel is right until they turn 16. Then on, till 30, you should just tell them what they should do and let them do what they feel is right and after 30 there's no use of telling too. So now, I'll only have to give my suggestion and heeding to it or discarding it, is left to you both. "I know that a lot of people of your age fear arranged marriages these days and that fear is because you feel you don't know that person properly. But then, why do you think we have the concept of engagement. Get engaged before at least six months of marriage and you can get to know each other fairly during that period. If you don't think it will work out, you have lost nothing, right? Now if it doesn't work out once, it's never that you will not find someone better. You'll always do and sometimes you will realize it after you get married to someone who you then thought was the best! In case you love somebody with whom everybody around you and especially your parents will be comfortable with, engagement is just a formality.

"Anyways, I can already see from his face that he is not very happy to listen to me. So let's finish it off. But a sincere request from my side - before you listen to what your heart says, just give a chance to your brain to think about it." My dad finally finished his lecture! Nobody spoke for a moment. Finally Simi broke her silence, "Uncle, now I realize why it is important to discuss with elders. No doubt, I had never thought about many things that you told now. Please give me some time. I will definitely think about it. Thank you very much for letting me know your point of view", she said and stood up. Oh Mistress of assertiveness skills, you forgot to paraphrase - I wanted to tell loudly but somehow controlled myself. "Sure dear. I know it's not easy. Take your time. And thanks. I'm happy that at least you said you will think about it. God bless you", my dad blessed her as Simi touched his feet before leaving. "Karthik", he looked at me and said, "go drop her till home and come back." Sigh! Don't worry. I'll not run away with her. And then, it was evident,
Simi did not speak to me for some days in the office. I had sort of understood what she wanted to convey. My dad had brainwashed her. If only I had never let her talk to my dad I thought. But Simi was anytime more mature than me. She had taken time not only to think about it but also to speak with her parents; and the story on the other side was no different. Luckily, I did not get an invitation from her father to talk to him! Finally Simi told me, what is usually told by girls, that we would be better off as friends rather than being a husband and wife. But it was really difficult for me to look at her as "just a friend". Fortunately I got an onsite assignment at that time which kept me away from her for almost 10 months. I somehow managed to get over the gloom during that period. It was only after that I realized my dad too was right in a way. True. At least sometimes in life, you got to listen to your elders.


Today, Simi and I are married; to different people of course, and the best part is that we both have found very good friends as our life partners. Instead of whining over what could not happen, we have just moved on with so many other beautiful things that actually happened and of course, we are more than satisfied with whatever we have in our lives. It's like they say, if it had been any better, it would be a sin ;-) That's it!

P.S: Hats off to the person who has written this !! I was sceptical of posting this in my blog as its not my original post, yet the usefulness of the article over rides that idea... Hence, i hope i wont be guilty of plagiarizing !! ;)

The Obama Effect !!

Congratulations to the The Next President of United States of America, Barack Obama... Well not for the fact that he is the first African American person to occupy the highest office of USA.. I believe that so many across the world over had done with their felicitations that my part wont be missed much.... I would want to congratulate Obama for having made another legacy , for bringing up "The Obama Effect"... I had often wondered that only scientist had the destiny to have a theory, principle left behind them... Like the Newton's principle, Doppler's effect etc, but there have been few people other than scientist who have had the fortune to not only leave a legacy but also stand for some thing which rekindles the human spirit...

Yes, Congratulations to Barack Obama for being the ingenious lead character of the sparkling effect "The Obama Effect"... The Obama Effect has come to have a multitude of significance.. First and foremost,it has come to represent the win of mankind over the petty socially divisive obstructions which have been restricting humans for centuries... An African American person, who before 40 yrs back didnt have the rights to take part in democratic election process, has been entrusted with the Highest authority in American society...More importantly "The Obama Effect" is the victory of the American Dream.... The belief "You can be anybody that you want to be" is a basic underlying phenomenon of American society and no matter how people are prejudiced against color/religion/country etc, it is the belief in this tenet which propels the USA in the main stream of International politics and which is the reason for USA being a super power...

People might argue that its the economic power of USA which makes it the Super-power or its military strength (for Pro-NATO minded ppl) which makes it the Kingpin... Yet, i strongly believe that not with standing the socioeconomic factors which appear to be the axis, its the incurrent attitude and beliefs of the people who form the society that ends up being the fulcrum. The hope that if you have the capability, perseverance and work hard, you can achieve your goal, no matter who you are,how you are and where you are, fuels an optimism in the minds of the men and it is this reason, that America continues to be in the center of world's stage and will continue to create World Leaders...

Here, i would like to make a small comparision of our Country,India with that of the America... Its no secret that we have a mighty long road to travel... Just because the GDP of our country is growing at a fast rate,it will not guarantee that we will be a super power...I dont want to rant about the endless things which are not working correct in our society, the corruption, the diplomatic complicated channels,the morally corrupt neta's etc... Rather what i want to focus on is the necessary things which we Indians must address as we progress along the path to being called a SuperPower.For being called a Superpower, you dont need Weapons and Money to show off...

What you need is a country with people who believe in their inherent capacity to achieve their full potential and believe in them...We need a country with leaders to show the people that Dreaming big and Achieving the same can be done by anyone, provided he has the passion and fire to achieve it... If that happens, we may/may not have an 'Obama' , but what we can certainly look forward is too a day when every citizen of India stands for a cause greater than his own and say proudly "Iam an Indian and I believe in the Indian Dream". Believe me friends, that day would be a day worth living for...!

Jai Hind.

A Lover and a Wife !!!

I had read this one sometime back... Hope its enjoyable...

Once a young man had a confusion about Lover and Wife. How does one decide if a girl is suited for him to be a wife.. He had heard about a wise sage who had come to his village. So he decided to go to him and place his query. When he told the sage his query, the sage told him to go to the nearest wheat field, and get the biggest wheat grain he can get from the field in half an hour.

The man went to the field started his search for the biggest wheat grain. He found one but as soon as he went some more distance,he saw another grain which looked more bigger than the one he had. He discarded the one he had taken and then took the other grain. He went ahead and found another big one.. He took the big one and continued his search. After sometime, he got a doubt, if the grain he had in his hand was the biggest or the one he had got the first was the biggest.

This went on for sometime , and the alloted 30 minute time got over. He went back to the sage and gave the grain which he had.. The sage asked him, "Is this the biggest grain which was present in the field". The man was quite sure that he might have thrown away the biggest grain. So he replied "No , Wise sage, i might have missed the biggest grain".

The Sage told him not to worry, and this time told him to go and collect the biggest grain with the same half an hour duration. This time the man went to the field, looked for some time , saw a grain which looked the biggest and then came back to the sage. The sage asked him. "If the grain he had was the biggest". The man replied he was sure that this was the biggest grain".

The sage said to him "You have got the answer to your question. You look at a girl and feel that she looks great. You become her lover... Then you find another girl who you feel is more suited for you and then you go for her... In case of wife, you find a girl who you think is the best girl available and live with the assumption that she is best for you too...".