Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A Child's Tender Life - Make it, Dont Break it !!

I was surfing through some blogs when i came across a blog where in a girl had shared her grief of losing her friend who had committed suicide.,. And why did her friend suicide.,. She suicided because of a failed relationship.... Just because the relationship didnt work out, or because they had to break up,the girl took the liberty of taking her own life, leaving everyone who were there for her in tears.,. Recently there has been a spate of news saying someone committed suicide because of a bad performance in academics, or because of an uncertain future or because of a failed relationship.. I dont want to rant my feelings on how bad the family of the deceased would feel, nor why such a senseless decision to take their life was taken. I want to muse over the reason's why such cases of suicide continues to happen and how to create an awareness and as well as share/get some insights from wise people like you on how these things could be prevented....

DEPRESSION DEPRESSES
I agree that Depression is the number one reason to commit suicide.,. As one of my friend said its due to a huge expectation on someone/something, our attachment to it and to find that we have been cheated or that our expectations wont be met, which prompts people to take the extreme step. I understand how depressed one will be, and its quite natural to be depressed, yet it doesnt guarantee taking the extreme step. I feel one of the reason's for such things happenings is the lack of moral support for the person concerned.. I know it sounds vague, yet take any instance.


The Family members expect the child to perform exceedingly well, to be first and want him/her to be the best. In that case, naturally the child gets bog down by other's expectations. What they need at such stage , is the belief that no matter what happens, the Family is always for them,that there are people who will understand them, empathize with them[not judge them]. I know every family member is always present for each other, yet can i know how many people voice it to their children their love and their belief in them. As far as i know there are some families where the parents are so obsessed and busy with their work, that they don't have any time to see their children, forget talking with them. Its such a pity that some elders think that Money will take care of all the concerns of a child and a posh home, and a good status of living is all that Children need.,.They couldnt have a much wronger notion.

Also pressure on children to perform well in academics has been taken to extreme levels.,. I heard of a case where in a daughter after doing her Board exams felt that she wont be able to match her family expectation. She took the extreme step and when the results came she had stood first in her school. In other cases,where in children who are talented in some other fields, and who are not able to perform exceedingly well in acads, are fed with the notion that if you are not good at Acads, you are not fit for nothing. The amount to which it affects a child's confidence cant be fathomed.,.

Yes, the teaching style of institutions and the belief system shares an equal blame for such things. Yet more than that, it must start with each family. Please tell your kids that its they who matters a lot more than their report sheet. I understand that all parents have their own expectations of their child and its for the child well-being. Yet the child can do wonders if you make him belief that he has the capacity to succeed and give him constant support and encouragement. A real life example of this is none other than the Brainiest person to have lived in the earth -Albert Einstein. I dont know how many of you know that Einstein was a schizophrenic child and his maths teacher had asked him to leave school as she thought that he was not fit to study maths. Yet Albert's Mother believed in her son, and coached him, teaching him herself, and Albert's action speaks for himself,and for his Mom's belief.,.

CHILD EINSTEIN
Second main reason,which i feel people resort to extreme steps is the fear of rejection of society.,. If you have been living under a flashy image and suddenly you feel that you are not able to live up to your image, the fear that people will shun you prompts people to do that. Again in this, its the "Expectation" which comes in.,. Also, its because people tend to forget that it is their image which in turn builds an image rather than their image building themselves. An instance which i can remember now, is about the Icon Steve Jobs,when he was thrown out from his own company, he found everything around him meaningless and he felt that living now is waste. Yet he got over that disappointment , by his belief in his abilities, and he was back again with a bigger bang !!


Same was the case of Lee Iacoca who was fired from the position of CEO by Henry Ford from Ford Motors, which left him in a poor shade in media. Yet he came back stronger by turning the fortunes of Chrysler. The history is full of stories of people who have failed,who have lost, yet they lived to tell their tales and create a legacy. The same legacy can be created by anyone who beliefs in himself. Hence i stress the point again that how the childrens are guided and mentored has an much wider impact on them later on.

PARENTAL LOVE AND CARE
I started this article with the intention of making people know about how their support and care can make a person belief in himself.,. I dont know if iam successful in my attempt,but i believe that proper Parental care and Love will ensure that the Child/individual copes up with any obstacles or disappointments and would in turn be a source of support and hope to others !! What i would like from those who read this article is, please spread the awareness of proper nurturing of children to everyone you know and also inculcate this in your lives too. :)
This will ensure that the future will be in the hands of Confident, Inspired Leaders , as Today's Children are Tomorrow's Citizens.

God Bless All.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Perfect Show With Rajan Narayanan - A Passionate Enterpriser !!

The PS Show is Back !!

Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius said it right,

"A man's worth is no greater than the worth of his ambitions."

In this edition of PERFECT show, we have a person who symbolizes and has lived his life based on the strength of his ambitions., It gives me great pleasure to have Mr. Rajan Narayanan, in the PERFECT show. Rajan is a former Vice Chairman & COO, Linc Software and presently the Senior Vice-president, MindTree Ltd.


He did his engineering at REC,Trichy, and joined AV Thomas Software Research, as a Hardware Engineer, after which he switched on to Software to work with Advent Computer Services Ltd for 4 years, and then went on to establish Linc Software with two friends in 1988. He was the CEO at Advent, when he decided to be an entrepreneur and founded Linc Software.Rajan Narayanan is also an active member of RECAL Alumni Bangalore Chapter and is currently the President of RECAL Bangalore Chapter.

Now its over to the Show.

Guest: Mr. Rajan Narayanan : RN
Host: Prashant Sree : PS

PS: Hi Rajan, I on behalf of my readers Welcome you to the PERFECT SHOW. Its a honour to have you in the Show.
RN: Thanks Prashant, Its my pleasure to be in the Show.

PS: Sir,What are you passionate about in Life ?
RN: Iam passionate about Entrepreneurship.

Rajan's favorite topic is Entrepreneurship’ and he likes to speak for hours and also has an affinity for the word ‘passion’. His faith and love for IT industry clearly splashes when he quotes Narayan Murthy many times for saying “For the first time in 400 years is India being respected for something” (referring to software industry in India).

PS: What have you learnt in your life( other than academics), which you would like to share with others ?
RN: I have learnt that there is a need to learn, unlearn and relearn continuously. Learning is a continuous journey.


PS:Yes Sir, That's a perpetual truth.,. Now, the next question.
If you are given a wish to change one thing in world, what would you change ?
RN: Poverty

PS: Who is your Favorite Mythological Hero and why ?
RN:My favorite Mythological hero is Krishna …. Because he was the greatest Management Guru ..

PS: Thats an interesting view,Sir. What would you like to stand for in your life ?
RN: Simplicity.

PS: What do you consider your charm ?
RN: My Down to earth nature and character


PS: Iam sure many of the people who have interacted with you will vouch for that., :) What is your Thumb Rule to be successful and happy in Life ?
RN:To be contented at all times, with what you have.,

PS: Sir, now few more questions apart from the regular PERFECT questions. Since you have been in the software industry for a considerable amount of time, What do you think about the Outsourcing phenomenon which is slowly changing in India. How flexible will we be when compared to countries like China,Malaysia who are gearing up for a market share ?
RN:We are clearly the preferred choice as an outsourcing destination today and that trend will continue going forward. We will however face challenges from increased competition but I am confident that our premier position is here to stay.

PS: How do you see the IT industry 5 years from now. How long the IT bubble boom( which has been on consistent for the past 4 years) will remain so...?
RN: I see the IT industry growing over the next 5 years and becoming a formidable force in changing and contributing to the society of this country. The bubble has now become a permanent balloon. We are and will continue to be seen as the best off-shoring destination. Domestic IT industry needs to grow a lot more and that will most likely happen in the next 5 years.

PS: How do you see to what extent Money plays a role of motivating people. Does it hold true as we began to earn more ?
RN: Money does contribute significantly to motivation especially at lower levels. The impact does diminish as one moves up the ladder.

PS: Who have been your role models and for what reasons ?
RN: My parents for their sacrifice, sincerity, simplicity, compassion, and hard work.

PS: Since you have been an entrepreneur, What do you think are the things which the entrepreneur has to be careful of, before launching his own startup..
RN: The answer is simple.,. All that is needed is just an idea, the passion to execute it and the ability to think big.

PS: What are the 3 most important lessons, which you learnt in your first 3 years of Job ?
RN: My learning's have been many, yet the 3 most prominent one's are:

  • The first and most important lesson was that learning had just begun with the first job whilst we mostly think that learning ends when we graduate from university.

  • That the “Customer is always right “ and therefore Customer comes first as the major stakeholder

  • Importance of understanding Customer’s business / need to enhance domain knowledge

PS: What are your favorite quotes and your favorite books till date ? –
RN: Favorite quote is “THINK” by Thomas J Watson, Jr (IBM). and book – the one I had just began writing ..



PS: Thats amazing Sir. I didnt know till now that you are writing a book., Looking forward to your book. And, we have come to the end of the PERFECT Show. I thank you for spending your precious time with us and for answering the questions. On behalf my readers, I wish you and your family a Successful Happy Life.
RN: Thanks Prashant. Wish you All the Best.

“If you trust the winner within you, you will win.

If you can keep your courage, you will go so far.

If you follow your ambitions, your course will guide you toward a ladder that you can climb to your stars.”

I hope you enjoyed this edition of PERFECT Show, and also learnt something. I had taken some excerpts from "http://meetyourbuddy.blogspot.com/", a blog which Anurag and Arpit had initiated.,.

Take Control !

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The Adventures of Rim,Jim & Sim - Sim goes Gyming !! - Part II

P.S: First part of The Adventures of RJS - Sym goes Gyming can be read here.

We went out for a our dinner and once we came back, we were had to be content by hearing about Sim's theories on loosing weight. The unique thing about Sim is that you never know when his brain decides to come out of its dormancy and decides to do something. It is at these times that Sim comes up with some theories which makes me think as if he had a blood relation to Leonarda Vinci. One of his ideas was about body reduction. He was of the view that 60-90 days were a long time. He said 3-5 days should be sufficient. According to him, take the joiners and desert them in a lone island where there are plenty of cocunut trees.,.The food and other related stuff can be kept at the top of the cocunut trees, and whoever wants to have food, they can climb the tree up and down,. According to Sim, if this routine continued for a week, the participants will be guaranteed to lose weights.,. Jim was concerned about 2 things.,.One was about law suits which could be charged against the organizers for intentionally deserting the people and similar charges.,. Secondly was Sim's obsession with coconut trees,.,. As far as we know, he didnt know any Keralite girls, yet who knows.,. He has so many friends ;).,.

So went Sim, giving us ideas on how he is going to reduce his body and make himself a sort of Greek God.,. Iam an ardent follower of Gandhigiri and believe firmly in Gandhian principles, yet Sim's speeches was testing my resolve,., The thing is he wont allow you to sleep.,.if you close your eyes, he will come nearer to you and will look so closely at you as if you have dropped dead.,. And the more scarier thing is when you open your eyes while he is looking at you.,. His eyes will be so close to your face that you will get the biggest shock of your life.,. When asked why he does that he just remarks that he was analzysing whether we had slept or not.,. So similarly, on that day, he successfully kept us awake till 12pm(Our usual sleeping time is 10:30 pm), after which he rushed to sleep saying that he needed to go to Gym early next day and that we people had delayed him by making him speak !! Its when things like this happen, when you feel that Life is really unfair.


I usually get up at 7:30.,. Yet i was woken up at 6:00 on that day.,. Jim's usual waking time is 6:00.,. He wakes up and then after refreshing goes for his morning jogs.,. On that day, it was a mixture of sounds which woke me up.,. There was a yelp sound and then there was sound of astonishment.,. Hurriedly i woke up, assuming that there had been some bomb blasts,so i got up from my bed and went out.,. In the Main hall, i saw a strange scene.,. Sim was sitting hunched down, holding his legs and angrily glaring at Jim, who stood near him, equally frustrated.,. I couldnt understand what happened.,. Sim complained that Jim had stumped on his legs., Jim accusation was why the hell Sim lying there in the hall instead of his bed.,. It seems that Sim who had been told that one has to do a warm-up before taking up Gym activities had woke up at 5 pm and had been exercising from then.,. He did some stretching exercises and then some push ups.,. Iam sure he pushed himself very hard because while doing push ups, he had felt a bit exhausted and streched across the floor itself and within no time fell asleep. It was then Jim who had woken up, stumbled upon him and in the darkness, stumped on Sim's leg.,. Then Jim and Sim went on their own ways getting ready to go to Gym, while i retired back to my bed. Sim looked as if he would drop dead again, yet his valiant knight in him made him go on.,.


At the end of the day,when i came back to home in the evening,Jim was rolling on the floor laughing and Sim face looked so fallen as if he had aspired for an Olympic medal and missed it by quite closely. On asking i got a summarized version of the day happenings.,. It seems after going to Gym, Sim saw other people doing some stretching exercises., Since Sim had taken the effort to stretch quite early,he presumed he could go on with advanced level of exercising... He went on to lift heavy dumb-bells.,. His adversary,the Trainer came and told him to join the warm-ups group before he could go on to do advanced exercises.Sim said he had already done the stretch-up's., The trainer said to him to do a few more stretch-up, so that he will be in a right condition to exercise and asked him to do some push-up's. Push-up's being the Achilles heal of Sim, nevertheless decided to give it a shot.,. He did 2 push-up and that was the end of push-ups. It was down from then onwards.,.

Sim later wondered why he was not able to do Push-up's then, because he had just taken 70 push-up's half an hour before in the home.,. Well thats Sim for you !! Because of the inadequacy in doing the push-up's the trainer assumiing that Sim might faint, asked him to sit aside for sometime, relax for sometime and then come back to exercise. He should have known better.., Sim,who usually wakes late, was waiting for this opportunity. Both his mind and body decided to unite against his so called will to exercise and then when he went to sit down for sometime, it got changed to lay down for sometime,. He slept solidly for 2 hours,(he would have slept for more time), with anxious people around him.,. The Gym trainer had forgot about Sim's presence and it was the cleaner who found him craddled in a corner and then called up the administration to see more on it.



It was then the trainer remembered that there was a person who had gone to rest. The other people had a hearty laugh and then Sim came home red-faced and then went about his daily work.,. I didnt know if i had to pity Sim or laugh at him.,. Yet being a good room-mate i could just give him a decent smile, before retiring to my bed and then laughing on it when-ever i recall the incidents.,. It seemed the next day,he had an appointment with the Gym dietician to decide on his eating habits.,.

PLATE OF DIET
Later next day, though didnt wake up early, he went promptly by 6 to meet the dietician.,. There the dietician had prescribed a food schedule and asked him if he had any doubts. Sim, looked at the schedule and asked him if he was supposed to eat that before or having his normal diet.... the diet included fresh juice,vegetables and Adequate fluid.,. The dietician then went ahead explaining the food course and explained No oily items and Fat drinks.,. I suppose Sim had imagined Water just as water, but to have "Adequate Fluid" as his main staple diet, came down quite heavy on his confidence., The two things which Sim can never let go is Friends(you should know which type) and Food.,. Now since he was in a dilemma to choose one over the other, to put it in his way "Losing one eye for the other". Still his reaction surprised me.,. He continued to went on for the Gym classes, though i couldnt see any noticable changes in his physique. (He had no intention of paying heed to what the dietician had said).

Later after a week, it was revealed to us that he has been seeing a girl who had being coming to Gym.,. Actually, the second day when he had gone to meet the dietician, before meeting the dietician, he had been waiting outside and it was at that time when the girl had come along.,. He made friends with her, and instead of going to Gym, he had been taking her around the park early morning,. (Gosh, i never knew the usefulness of parks ).,.


So that had been Sim's inspiration to go to Gym early morning, inspite of the dietician foreboding of having Foods he loved. When i ask him why he left going to Gym , didnt he stand to lose out the money, he said just:
"Every exit is an entry somewhere."

Well, thats the end of Sim tryst with the Gym.,. Though he didnt get a six pack as he wanted, he wound up by thinking that its what his attitude which mattered more than his thoughts. To put it simply
"Its what you want others to see and perceive you which matters more than how you really are".

I tell you, Sim sometimes defies logic !!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Who's Next !!

Well,well what do we have here.,. A TAG and 2 awards given to me by "Priya Joyce". Thank You, Priya for that.,. Actually i believe that its what you do that makes a difference, much more than the accolades yet it always feel special when someone appreciates you (Yes, for those doubting if Iam a human, yes, i belong to the Homo Sapiens species, and have a tendency to feel nice when someone appreciates me ;) )

That apart, being Tagged is something which is more of a surprise to me.,. When i first started blogging, whenever i come across something called "Tagged", i used to assume that maybe people have a dog in their home,and are writing an article about their Dog Tag's ;).,. It was then when i began to see many such Tag's i began to wonder if such chances of so many people having Dog's is a mere coincidence or my assumption about Tag was wrong. So then i went on and called my Sherlock Holmes to investigate and this is what he has to say: Tag is something which you put on a person requiring him to do a necessary activity and then pass it on to other potential targets. So since now i had understood its real meaning, here iam fulfilling my responsibility of doing my TAG given by Priya.

The first Tag is called The Desktop story. Main Rules are:-)
1. Print screen your desktop.
2. Put the image in your post.
3. Write a story on it.

So here's my Desktop Screen.,. Iam ready to give a prize money to anyone who can decipher whats there in my screen. :)


Ok, dont worry , I will help you. Since mine's an office desktop, you can find most of the work related shortcuts etc. The back ground is that of the Flame burning.,. I Have been interested in fire from childhood..,. The passion still goes on.,. (For people who i have disappointed by not showin up a pic of a heroine or a pretty girl, let me clarify.,. I prefer having their images in my heart ;) ).

Now, next Job ---> find potential targets to tag.

I Tag:

Nimmy
Sormita
Sundar Rajan
Ravi
Siddarth
Gauri
Rajesh
Gagan
Arun

And now the Award's presenting ceremony.,. Thanks once again Priya for giving me the Award., Iam indeed happy to have you as my bloggo-friend.


My heartfelt Thanks to the people who i have met in Blogosphere and whose guidance/care i always have and resort to. :) I awards the BBF to:

Nimmy
Sormita
Sundar Rajan
Ravi
Siddarth
Zeph
Gauri
Rajesh
Gagan
Arun

And one more award called "Brilliant Blog Award". I believe these people's Blogs are a way apart from the normal rantings and are about pertinent issues.,. You Guys are really making a difference with your Blogs.

Nimmy
Sormita
Sundar Rajan
Ravi
Siddarth
Zeph
Gauri
Rajesh
Sathya Narayana

I would have liked to award the BBF and Brilliant Web Blog to Nithin and Smiriti,Reflections but since they have been awarded the same by Priya(Nithin and Smiriti) and Nenu(Reflections), my repetition wouldnt have much impact.,. Guys, you too deserve it and you have a space in my heart too ;). (But dont be too happy, that you escaped this time, I will be back !! )

Well, Thats it for now.,. I believe most of the people will be having beaming 100 watts smiles on their faces right now.,.( For seeing me post something other than just preaching homilies ;) )
See, i care about you too :)

GodSpeed.

P.S: By the time, i finished posting the message, what i have, Another Brilliant WebBlog Award from Reflections, I have been checking her blogs for a very short while and it has been a pleasure to get acknowledgement from her. Thank You,Reflections :)

Thursday, September 4, 2008

The Great Expectations !!

I was having a conversation with one of my friends when the topic drifted to the upcoming CAT exam and the usual anxiety which accompanies it.,. The intermittent SIMCAT's( mock CAT exams) scores arent particularly what one can say as encouraging.,. rather they tend to do the opposite.,. pulp your confidence to the barest minimum.,. ;) These exams are like checkpoints for estimating our level of preparedness., A person can get to know which areas he are strong in and in the areas he has to improvise himself. But often what happens is that after each SIMCAT, you become to doubt yourself. You feel as if your preparation isnt enough and that you are getting
worser every exam.


When i shared with a friend who is exceptional in analyzing things, what he had to say was that its because of your level of expectation. We expect things to happen fast. We expect immediate results which if not seen make us a lot unhappy.,. We can apply the same analogy to every other part of our life. May it be career, relationship, every sphere of our life is filled with expectations.,. We expect our peers to be lovable, we expect our society to be good and helpful, we expect complete love from our partner, we expect all happy things from God.

One might ask what is wrong in having expectations, the only catch here is the fact that things turn out to be ideal in very few cases.,. For example in career, though one might expect the company to be good always,give regular promotion etc, it might not be the case always.,. You might miss out your promotion, you might be asked to move into some project which least
interest you. In case of relationships, your partner might have his/her own ambitions and desires, hence expecting him/her to comply with your desires might not be the ideal way.It is in these cases that having expectations hurts and fires back.

Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.
Edward de Bono

Yes, one less known thing about Expectation is the fact that we are responsible for it. We have been sub-consciously programmed from our childhood, where we are expected to do certain things at certain stages of our life. This starts from the early childhood, from when we are a child, parents expect the child to utter "Mama","Papa" to every other kins name.,. Then you grow up you are expected to excel at your studies.,. Then you are expected to find yourself a good job and then finally get settled.,. This goes on till the end of our life where eventually, every facet of our life is dictated by EXPECTATIONS.

Expectations are the best known stressers of the human society(this is my assumption !!) You have a fear lurking inside you that oh, what if this doesnt happen.,. What if that ends up like this. What if iam not able to live up to my expectations.,. There are many draw-backs due to this, the 2 prominent ones being, 1) You allow others to dictate your life, 2) You get destroyed/disappointed if things dont turn your way.

Yet there is a beautiful face of expectation, ie. Expectation can be a great motivator.,. It can inspire you to come out of your comfort zone, and live to your potential.,. When Tiger Woods,Roger Federer, Sachin Tendulkar and other icons took the field, they are aware of the huge expectations of the people,.. Yet they were able to deliver.,. Ever wondered why ??. The reason why they continued to excel is because they didnt allow their expectation to go overhead.


Let me explain.,. Though the world has a huge expectation from them, they dont expect that from themselves.,. They just believe in their ability and their talent. They focus on what they have to do rather than what they should do. Since their focus is on doing things which they are good at, they by default, excel in what they do. Contrast their attitude with the attitude of the populoi, many people tend to focus on what they should do so that someone praises them. They strive to keep other happy and in process lose their own happiness.,.

All said and done, eventually its what we think and what we focus on that eventually determines what and how we will be., To wrap up,


To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves--there lies the great, singular power of self-respect.

Joan Didion

P.S: Would love to hear your thoughts on Expectations and your remedy for it.
Keep Inspiring !! :)